Hiking up really tall mountains only to walk back down

Handwritten Letters

2012-01-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

This entry really has nothing to do with my current "adventures" except that one of my favorite hobbies of the past was writing letters on stationery that I made with rubber stamps (and copious sheets of construction paper, binder paper and printer paper). Fast-forward a decade or so later, I have rediscovered my forgotten interest in this form of communication. Only this time, I'm older and can afford the fancy stationery. Ohlala!

Growing up I wasn't allowed to talk on the phone much less hang out with friends outside of school. So, instead, I wrote letters when I was supposed to be studying. My parents never caught on, so this was my secret way of communicating with friends. It started out with short little notes which eventually turned into decent length letters and eventually pages and pages of nonsense, sometimes complete with illustrations. Creativity was endless. Writing in a spiral... in the shape of a flower.... using different handwriting.... alternating pen colors.... you name it, I probably did it! In fact, I wrote so much that at one point my ability to be ambidextrous while writing was nearly flawless!

Ah, the memories.

I don't remember the last time I actually wrote a real letter to anyone. Scribbles on a piece of paper or a little note left for someone, yes, but nothing requiring more than a minute of my time.

This morning when I was at the mall-- I only have class two times a week until Feb-- I passed by Papyrus. The sign propped outside the overpriced Hallmark-esque store read "50% off SALE" and of course that lured me in. I browsed the greeting cards and boxed sets of holiday cards and then stumbled upon a table of blank note cards. "How fun would it be to receive a fancy note card/letter in the mail?", I thought. The designs had beautiful butterflies on it and at less than $10 a box, I just had to pick up a box. Oh!!! But there was a set with cherry blossoms... and a set of glittery hummingbirds!!!

Fifteen minutes and three boxes of stationery later, I was excited. I bee-lined my way to the post office and bought a book of stamps and now, I'm ready to write!

Let the adventures begin!!!

Bucket List that includes A TANK!

2011-11-20T19:23:00.000-08:00

http://driveatank.com/

Is that not one of the coolest things? It's going on my (adventure) bucket list.

Speaking of bucket list, I have never really written out all of the adventures I still have left to do in my lifetime. I suppose now is a better time than never? Without further adieu and in no particular order:

1. drive a tank (preferably with my brother and my dad decked out in camo)
2. rock climb in Railay and then jump off said rock into the beautiful ocean
3. see Lake Baikal-- the oldest and largest fresh water lake!
4. hike and backpack Patagonia
5. climb Mt. Whitney in a day (or two at most)
6. visit India (all regions) in one trip
7. see the fjords
8. kayak in Halong Bay (and see where my parents grew up)
9. go back to Ghana
10. safari in Africa
11. see the Greek ruins
12. go inside an Egyptian pyramid
13. visit the Holy Land. see the places I read about during my 16 yrs of Catholic education
14. jog up to Machu Picchu
15. scuba dive in the Red Sea
16. Monte Carlo-- Grand Prix
17. watch the Henley Regatta
18. Race in the Head of the Charles (when i'm 50)
19. ride a Clydesdale in Tennessee
20. see the Northern Lights
21. see a moose in the Alaskan wilderness
22. go hang gliding over San Diego
23. see the hot air balloon festival in New Mexico
24. tap a maple tree during the winter
25. apprentice a butcher or take a butchering technique class (meat cuts at the store fascinate me)
26. learn to blow glass (you thought the pottery was an outlier?!)
27. enter a fitness competition
28. do a full Ironman solo
29. hike the Lost Coast
30. visit Catlins Coast and blackwater rafting
31. watch the sunrise atop a volcano in Hawaii
32. run the Great Wall marathon (or half marathon)
33. sail to Catalina (now that I know how to sail!)
34. fly a kite in Central Park or Boston Commons.. or both?
35. run the Boston or the NYC marathon (aka actually train for a marathon)
36. visit Montreal and Quebec
37. take a ferry to Victoria, BC from Seattle
38. Germany during Oktoberfest (stein anyone?)
39. 1000 islands tour
40. get a picture on the BS blue field
41. see one "Big Game"
42. see the Army Navy game
43. go to an NBA game
44. organize a fun run (this is actually work in progress!)
45. sandboard in Namibia
46. zipline Costa Rica
47. Zion National Park
48. be a cowboy for day in West TX (yeah, I love Texas!)
49. Great Barrier Reef
50. live in a glass floor hut in Bora Bora
51. eat at all 3 Michelin Star restaurants in the US
52. go abalone hunting
53. ice fishing
54. learn to ballroom dance (anyone?)... or pole dance (same thing, right?)
55. visit an agave farm in Mexico since I never knew until recently it was the source of tequila!
56. learn the differences between various whisk(e)ys
57. learn to play the timpani, my favorite orchestra instrument
58. see The Nutcracker performed by a professional ballet company
59. watch the "Phantom of the Opera" in NYC
60. see "O"
61. see Turnip Rock

....list ongoing.

(FYI: no, it's not a coincidence that I posted this list on this very day....)

(Salsa) Dancing: "A Wild Ride"

2011-09-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

I went salsa dancing for the first time this weekend. I know, you're thinking "who ARE you?!"

It gets worse.

... I.... (actually) had .... fun!

For those who know me, I don't dance much less find the club scene my thing. I used to think there was something wrong with me because I didn't feel satisfied or happy at a bar or out in the club, even with my best friends. I forced myself to go out more than I should have, hoping that my outlook would change. It never did. In fact, I just became more and more weary. Last straw was when I turned 21 and celebrated with a trip to Vegas with my closest girl friends. They all went out and clubbed the entire night while I decided to go to bed and wake up early to run up and down the Vegas strip. I actually enjoyed myself on that trip even though I didn't do the typical Vegas thing. It was then I realized there was no point in lying to myself-- my idea of fun is completely different.

Normally, I tell people that my hobbies and interest revolve around things that keep me active and healthy. Ah, but dancing can be thought of as "active" right? Ehhh. You are right, but I would never admit that. In all honesty, when I took the time to think about it, I realized that I dismissed dancing as something positive because it made me uneasy. Often times, when I am uncomfortable with something, I am quick to categorize it as "not fun". In fact, I go so far as to avoid the activity like the plague.

I am uncomfortable with dancing. It has always made me nervous. Yes, it could be just as rewarding physically as a nice run or lifting weights, but I disregarded dancing as something fun because deep down, it terrifies me. The thought of not being good at something, not being able to properly move my feet and not being "graceful" as dancing should be.... freaks me out. Coupled with strangers surrounding me and people who might be watching me, dancing is the ultimate idea of a heart attack waiting to happen. Yet, this weekend I subjected myself to this fear again anyway.

Dumb, right?

Well, the thing is, my outlook has changed quite a bit this past year. I've become more and more comfortable with myself and honestly, I'm quite happy. In fact, I've never been happier. Challenging myself to enjoy time alone this past year has done wonders. I don't rely on other people to validate me or need someone or something to feel energized. It's all me! So, this weekend, when the opportunity presented itself, I took a leap of faith.

When I walked into the club alone, a rush of insecurities and fears consumed me. I started to think negatively, but caught myself before I spiraled down too far. I forced myself to smile and reminded myself that it was up to me to have fun. I found my girl friend and felt slightly calmer that I wasn't surrounded by strangers. I was asked to dance by some random guy and my fear of looking retarded standing around in a dance club slowly dissipated. I fumbled and I'm quite certain it was obvious I lack any experience. But, my partner smiled and reassured me that all would be fine. "It's ok... Don't worry.... relax."

Ah, "relax". That was my goal that night: to try and relax.

I don't really know how it happened that night, but I allowed myself to "not be in control" of my situation. In the comforts of a friend--the one I came and left with that night- I let my guard down for once and suddenly found myself laughing and smiling as I was being twirled around the dance floor. It was exhilarating. I didn't even care if I sucked. It.felt.great!

I didn't learn to dance by any means that night, but I did learn what it was like to let someone lead me. I've always secretly wanted someone to take control and allow me to take a back seat and enjoy the ride. In life, I'm so used to controlling my path. Most of the time, this isn't by choice; I just usually end up having to take the lead. It's tiresome and sometimes, it's depressing and stressful. While taking full responsibility helps me get things done and completed to the level of satisfaction that I want, it kills the fun because I am the one calling the shots. But at the club this weekend, I had the chance to "go with the flow". I experienced each surprise twist and turn with nothing short of excitement. I always wondered what it would be like to be in situation where I wasn't the one making the decisions. And, let me tell you, it's awesome! I guess it didn't hurt that my friend was really good at this dancing thing (probably helped a lot, actually); for once, I wasn't the one who had to made sure everything was moving along and as close to perfect as possible. It felt like my only job was to relax and have fun!

All I can say is, "Wow!" What a feeling.

I found myself thinking about the pretty artwork by Allen Bentley this evening. He focuses on drawing and painting couples that are dancing. Though I could never relate to his paintings in the past, I've always adored his work because he made dancing look so whimsical, fun and ALIVE! I didn't think I would ever have the opportunity to experience this world but after last night, I finally understand what Allen meant when he said that dancing is indeed "a wild ride!"

Why Bother?! ...finally, an answer

2011-09-10T20:44:00.001-07:00

"The first question which you will ask and which I must try to answer is this, 'What is the use of climbing Mount Everest ?' and my answer must at once be, 'It is no use'. There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever. Oh, we may learn a little about the behavior of the human body at high altitudes, and possibly medical men may turn our observation to some account for the purposes of aviation. But otherwise nothing will come of it. We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver, not a gem, nor any coal or iron. We shall not find a single foot of earth that can be planted with crops to raise food. It's no use. So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go. What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to be able to enjoy life. That is what life means and what life is for."

George Mallory (First man to stand on top of Everest)

Tri Update: Vineman (Ironman Distance) Relay

2011-08-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to do the half Ironman distance race on my own, but it sold out so quickly that I didn't get a chance to sign up. Next best thing was to do the full race, but relay style. I convinced my friend, Sarah, to do it with me. She would bike and I would swim and run. This was back in January. Of course, then I decided to go to Africa so I knew I wouldn't have any time to train. After asking around, I found a swimmer who is my cousin's wife's sister. So it turned into a three person team all of whom share the same last name (though not related): Nguyen!

Rather than typing it all out, I will post the video that Sarah made from our weekend extravaganza! This tri actually took place 7 days after I got back from Africa so you can imagine how exhausted I was (particularly after climbing up Half Dome too!).

After this race, I vowed to retire from running. This 26.2 miles really drained me mentally and physically!

From Sarah's email:

Team "Free Radicals"

Mai specifically asked me to use the song, Memories, by David Guetta, because she thinks everything we do together is pretty epic, crazy, and memorable.....and filled with some kind of curve-balled adventure tucked in. Things are never easy and never straightforward with us for some reason, but that's where the sense of adventure comes in. We somehow manage to survive through it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi9cS4wzOPU

By the way, our team placed first in our age group and fourth overall among the all-female relay teams! Our overall finish time was 14 hours and 44 minutes. Pretty awesome for the hodge podge "training" that we all did. I think Trang, our swimmer, was the most trained because she practiced quite a bit!! We are really proud of ourselves, and it was an awesome experience......that we hope not to repeat again. Hehehe. We were all hurting pretty badly throughout the entire event. It was definitely one of a kind and an absolute blast though. Fantastic memories in the best company!

Hiking: Half Dome

2011-07-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

I managed to get 4 permits last February to hike Half Dome. These permits sold out in less than 5 minutes! The three of us who went said we were going to train for this hike, but true to form, none of us did anything to condition ourselves. And so... the journey began....

Less than 24 hours after getting off of a plane in Los Angeles (from a summer spent in Ghana), I went to Yosemite to hike Half Dome with my brother and my cousin, Carmine. Not exactly the smartest idea, but I tend to be synonymous with "crazy" adventures.

Here we are during the early part of our hike towards Vernal Falls. Smiles all the way.

Just before ascending the cables to the top of Half Dome (behind us). We met this girl along our hike who didn't have a permit, so we offered to give her our extra one. Up until we reached the subdome, I was hiking the entire way in sandals. I'd like to think Africa made me tough! Though, it was a little rough because I got really swollen during the hike and was very cold the entire time despite ideal weather conditions.

The view from the top! That's Carmine.

On our descent, we ran into a deer. He seemed to like Carmine's red backpack and at one point we thought the deer was going after it! Lucky for us, he was just dashing away back into the woods. whew.

Half Dome on our way down (Yosemite Falls is on the right)-- we conquered it! All in a day's work. Headed home the same evening to SoCal. I had to keep my eyes closed on the drive home because the "fast pace" the cars on the road and freeway made me really dizzy; I was still used to the "slower" life I had in Africa!

I am a little drained from the hike to write a full report. That and next weekend I am relaying an Ironman distance triathlon without any training. :/

....the things I do before moving to start medical school in two weeks!

Running: Another 1st Marathon-- Anh Lue

2011-05-02T22:44:00.001-07:00

My brother and my cousin Anh made a pact last October while waiting for me to finish my 26.2 mile run in SF for the Nike Women's Marathon (NWM): run a full marathon in the next 12 months. Naturally, this made me very happy because I think that everyone should run a marathon in their life. It's fun and you really feel great afterwards!

The marathon was going to be the OC marathon. Unfortunately, my brother was swamped with final projects so he couldn't do it. Instead, I promised to run alongside my cousin the entire way to make sure she finished. And boy did she! Recap below...

Anh flew in on Saturday morning and we headed to the Health Expo at the Orange County Fair Grounds to pick up her bib and race packet. With only the NWM to compare her experience to, this OC marathon check-in failed in comparison; it was unorganized, chaotic and just unmotivating. Nevertheless, she managed to get everything she needed and we headed off to Beverly Hills to hit Crumbs Cupcake shop-- it was her wish to have a Crumbs cupcake for doing this marathon. That was breakfast and lunch. For dinner we met with her college buddy and had chicken pho. Even ate the XL bowl for the extra noodles (aka extra carbs). She was definitely prepped in the sustenance department.

340am May 1, 2011: I was up, and though secretly exhausted for only getting about 3 hours of shut eye, I hyped myself up for my cousin's run. I barged into my bedroom (I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room) and woke her up. Granted, she wasn't waking up to the sounds of my mom so very excited in an SF hotel room because people were chanting down below in Union Square (NWM experience), but it was still an energetic wake up call from yours truly.

Headed out to park my car at the finish line and taking the shuttle back to the start line, Anh left my apartment by 4am. I too left about 15 minutes later to meet her at the start line (I walked), which was at Fashion Island across the street from my complex. I had never seen so many Newport PD out before; they hardly ever patrol in my opinion! Anyway, I got to the starting area, surveyed the environment and waited for Anh's shuttle to drop her off. We met up and had an hour before the race, so we spent the time debating which corral to jump into.

I have this theory that you should run in the corral that is slower than your target finish time because if you can catch up to the pacer that has your target time, you know for sure that you've accomplished your goal. However, the thought of being in coral D sounded so depressing that we decided to use a different strategy. In fact, we did the opposite and jumped into the coral that was faster than Anh's target finish time of 6 hours and 30 minutes: coral B.

After the speedy folks in coral A started, we inched up to the official starting line. Anh looked very excited but I think she was also a little nervous looking. I knew the feeling; at my first marathon, I was scared!

The run started off quickly and the route was beautiful for the most part at the very beginning. It was a big downhill start for the few 2-3 miles so the motivation and the adrenaline kicked in and Anh was speeding. I didn't slow her down since I knew she said she felt best when she could run fast during the first few miles before slowing down. Normally I'd suggest starting off slower and building up, but you know, everyone has their own way of running!

Around mile 6 we started to leave the ocean and mansion views and headed inland (interpret: ugly scenery). During one of the turns from the paved streets to the loose gravel of a running trail on an ecological reserve (mile 6ish), I tripped and fell forward. Sustained some cuts and scrapes on both hands and my left leg. I was hurt, but not hurt enough that I couldn't run. So... we continued on despite my first ever mishap during a marathon.

The course supposedly has an overall net decline in terms of elevation but there were a lot of hills. Nothing compared to SF, but you know, enough that you had to mentally prepare yourself. I was so proud that my cousin consistently ran for a good 4-5 miles at the beginning; normally she walks/runs. She shattered her personal record for a half marathon distance with an average 12 minute mile and this was despite the fact that we started walking a bit after mile 7. I felt evil for walking a little faster than usual, but I wanted to make sure we made decent time, so I trekked along secretly hoping she would catch up.

In typical fashion, I created all these silly counting games to get us running. Counting cones, tagging other racers to pass and just counting things around me. We had this one guy who was doing the full marathon in pjs that just kept getting ahead of us. We finally passed him after mile 15 and after that, we focused on passing pairs of runners wearing identically colored shirts/outfits. At various mile markers, I tried to get pictures of Anh just to mark the occasion, especially since the longest she's ever walked/run consistently was 16 miles.

I have never done a race with my cell phone before. Normally it's just me, gatorade, water, my ishuffle and some snacks to keep me going. I would have to say that facebooking during a marathon is interesting. It's like giving people the play-by-play of what was going on. It definitely slows you down, but this wasn't my race, so I was enjoying the chance to capture someone's first race for them on camera!

Some notable moments:

-mile 5: we saw some Marines pushing a fellow comrade who was paralyzed. They made it a team effort to all cross the finish line together!
-mile 20: a guy passed us who was dribbling two basketballs. He was on his way to breaking a world record, which was really cool.
-mile 22: we were about to turn off from the Santa Ana River Trail when we noticed that a bum was moving the signs that were pointing runners to the course. He was rude and obviously mentally disturbed as his pant fly was open and he was shouting derogatory, racial comments at my cousin. I knew she was upset about it, but we couldn't do much except flag the race officials to report the disturbance. Although this ate into our time a little, my cousin was really glad we took the time to figure out the right course after the signs had been tampered with; she said she would've been really upset if she had missed part of the official race route because a guy changed the signs to shortcut the distance of the race. I agreed. I would've been upset, especially since it was at mile 22 and the finish line was so close!

Anyway, Anh's goal was simply to finish the marathon before they took down the finish line, and her dream goal was to finish in 6 hours and 30 minutes. When we crossed the finish line, the clock said 6 hours, 21 minutes and 01 seconds. Knowing that we didnt start when the clock started, we both knew she had surpassed her goal! WHOOPIE!!!

I'm so proud and happy for her. She didn't seemed to cramp up after the race as I did after my first marathon or like Opal did after I paced her through her first marathon last January in Orlando. What a trooper! Though no Tiffany's necklace for a finisher's prize, Anh did receive a finisher's medal! We headed home soon after the race was over (the walk to the car was terribly long!) and each enjoyed a warm shower. We met up with my parents for lunch, got Beard Papa's and then went and had round 2 of pho. Anh's whirlwind weekend ended shortly after when I dropped her off at the airport to return home to Sacramento.

I always love it when my close friends and family accomplish something they never thought they could/would. It makes me happy AND it makes me smile. I am very fortunate and blessed to have shared in my cousin's milestones this weekend!

Now to find my next marathon victim! Hmmmm... ;)

(pictures to come)

Africa: Winneba

2011-03-15T00:35:00.000-07:00

So, it's definitely Ghana. What city you ask? Well, not a major touristy hot spot like Accra or Cape Coast. Instead, I'll be sandwiched in between the aforementioned cities in what is described as :"a historic fishing town 90 miles east of Cape Coast and 35 miles west of Accra". Go on, be the detective that you are and figure out what town I will call "home" for a few months.

Did you say "Winneba"?

Bingo!

And what will I be doing there exactly? Well, I will be teaching at the Remedial School for Challenging Heights. I was actually given the option to teach at the "normal school" but according to the coordinator, a lot of people have interest in that, so I went to where they had a harder time finding staff: teaching kids that have dropped out or need a little extra help with their studies. Ah, now instead of just teaching one subject (math!), I will be responsible for physics, math and English. Whoa!

Wishful thinking has it that I will be trying to do some health care related things while I'm there too, but my main focus is to teach since that's what I'm more trained to do at the moment. Someday I will be able to be a full-on medical volunteer. Right now, my goal is to educate and hopefully convince one (or ideally more than one) child that being educated is a very empowering thing.

Relieved that I've confirmed my "destination" and established what I will be doing during my month long stay (yes, I said one WHOLE month!) in Winneba, I've moved on to my next hurdle: vaccinations and housing. Besides the mandatory yellow fever vaccination, I have to update all of my childhood shots as well as decide if I want to take the polio vaccine and the meningitis vaccine. My mother is very much against me getting the polio vaccine because she suffered from polio as a kid and is very apprehensive about the mere thought of any strain of polio being inside of my body. I've also avoided the meningitis vaccine throughout my educational career while living in shared housing because my mom (again)was against the idea. A little more grown up and not 16 anymore, I now get to decide for myself if I want to get these two vaccines or not. On top of that, I will have to find a way to deal with my monthly feminine issues (can it disappear during my month long stint?!) and worry about malaria and shielding myself from those ever loving mosquitoes. Oh, mosquitoes. They always find a way to bite me and it itches like crazy. Coupled with a paranoia of contracting a disease, I'm pretty much leaning towards wearing plastic wrap throughout my stay! Just kidding... sort of...

As for housing... hmmm...I can stay at the hostel which is a ways away and will require a cab to and from school each day but with this longer commute, I get to have my own private bathroom and shared kitchen. I could also stay with a family and depending on the type of accomodations, it would be cheaper. There is also the option of staying in a hotel in Accra and cabbing it every morning again. This would seem ideal to me since I would think it'd be the cleanest, but I don't know how safe it would be; after watching one too many Liam Neesen movies, I'm a little paranoid about being abducted! My last option is to stay in the village in housing that the school has acquired. I would be given a small room with a bed that has a ceiling fan, but flushing toliets, running water and wash buckets (oh yeah!!) would be a few meters away, detached from my living quarters.

Part of me wants to live in the the village so I really get a feel for what life is really like there. And to compromise, I could leave every weekend to a hotel to enjoy the luxuries of a shower! I don't know. I'm torn.

Do any of you have any suggestions? What would you do if you were in my situation? My main concern is health and safety. Costs and convenience are secondary when it comes to my well-being. With that, I'm seeking help and advice from any of you!

Africa: Health and Safety

2011-03-05T22:34:00.000-08:00

Thank you, CDC, for the advice:
http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/content/pack-smart.aspx

My favorite was the list towards the end:
Other items that may be useful in certain circumstances
•Mild sedative or other sleep aid
•Medicine to prevent altitude sickness
•Water purification tablets
•Commercial suture/syringe kits to be used by local health-care provider. (These items will also require a letter on letterhead stationery from the prescribing physician.)
•Latex condoms
•Child safety seats
•Bicycle helmet

hmmm

Africa: ...for the sake of math

2011-03-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

I decided that I wanted to go out and do something to be useful. So, I signed up to volunteer in Africa. You might wonder, why Africa? Well, I really only had three places of interest that I wanted to devote my time towards: Africa, Vietnam, India. I realize that poverty manifests itself every where and help is needed every where in the world, even in America, but I really wanted to go outside of my usual environment to extend a helping hand.

Vietnam: ah, the land of my ancestors and my parents. My dad lived in poverty, he starved as a kid and had no educational opportunity. Joined the military, trained as a SEAL, and finally settled in America where he worked as a janitor and eventually put himself through school and earned a college degree. No help from anyone. Just faith in God, self-motivation, a desire for a better life and a killer work ethic. My mom: she boldly left everything familiar to her in Vietnam and came to America on a US cargo plane bringing nothing but the clothes she had on and some extra undergarments. She thought she was going on an adventure, not realizing how lonely she would feel being a new country all on her own. That and she had no future in Vietnam; she had polio as a kid and no one expected her to have any sort of rewarding life because of her 'handicap'. Unlike my dad, my mom decided to go wild, party and have fun in America (we hypothesize that this is where my brother's laziness and partying stem from). Thankfully (or not, depends on what mood my mom is in when you ask), she met my dad who convinced her to go back to school and to make a life for herself.

So as you might infer, going to Vietnam would give me the opportunity to see and really learn about my family while spending some time working with children and being helpful. But something about going there without my parents and without a guide to where they grew up made such an excursion at this present moment seem incomplete. After thinking and really reflecting on what I wanted, I realized that Vietnam was a destination for me to learn about my history and that I couldn't completely say that I was going there to be useful for someone other than myself.

India: Well, I know that there is a lot that can be done in the country, but I just wasn't feeling it. It happened to be on my list because I was supposed to travel there this past December (canceled because of scheduling conflicts) and upon researching places to visit, I came across quite a lot of information about the poverty and the social injustices that were present in various parts of India.

Africa: Hmm. I've been wanting to visit Africa for a while now. Safaris (South Africa), rafting/canoeing and Victoria Falls (Zimbabwe), and hiking (Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania). It's new, it's different and I can be useful. I have no hidden agenda or priorities that would deter me from doing what I want to do on a volunteer trip: whole-heartedly volunteer and explore the surrounding natural wonders. So, I started my search for credible organizations that I could work with and voila.

After a late night google search and a lot of email exchanges, I decided on West Africa. I found a place called, "Challenging Heights" and after reading about its mission and what it has done for children, I cannot think of a better place to volunteer. They focus on education and providing it to those who might not otherwise receive it. For me, education plays a crucial role for empowering a person to become the best that they can (or close to it, anyway). To have the opportunity to offer my services to an organization that seeks to rescue children from child trafficking and provide them with an education for a better future... what better experience can I find?!

I emailed the contact person on the website (and did further investigation to make sure that Challenging Heights wasn't some scam) and learned that I will be able to teach my favorite subject of all time (math) to "midgets" (aka children) and be a caretaker on the side for said children (yikes for them!). I'm stoked because I will be able to utilize something I'm slightly better than average at (teaching numbers) and feel that I can really make a difference (can we all say "vector calculus"?!). Someday I hope to provide medical services, but without medical training and a medical degree at the moment (soon to be fixed), I feel that being a medical volunteer is not maximizing my potential for this trip.

Guess this means we can cross out the crazy mountain hiking in Tanzania, the chance to pet a leopard in South America and canoeing through Zimbabwe. Am I bummed? Not really. Scared? Definitely. Worried? Yes, but nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, I'm shy and get nervous about everything. Typical. BUT, I have this sense of adventure in me and the willingness to put myself out of my comfort zone (thanks for the bold spirit, mom)-- knowing that I will learn and discover something new--that drives me to go for it. Crazy? Probably, but nothing you wouldn't expect from a person who mulls over ideas quietly in her head for a long time and sporadically informs people much later.

Now it's just a matter of logistics--1. figuring out how long I want to go 2. figuring when to go.

In the meantime, if you have any pencils, paper, calculators, toys or money you would like to donate so that I can take with me, please let me know. I plan to fundraise even though I have not been asked to. More details to come...

Cycling: Solo No More

2011-02-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

My biking adventures are no longer solo rides! I have a new riding buddy and she's crazy. So far, we have rode to and from Newport to Belmont Shores in LB, meandered the Santa Ana River Trail and explored the Mountain to Sea/Back Bay Trail.

Ride 1: Our first adventure was on a Friday morning a month ago. I think it was Sarah's first time riding with traffic, but she was totally chill and didn't have any close calls with cars, pedestrians or inanimate objects (can't say the same for my first ride on surface streets!). We went down Jamboree towards PCH and took PCH all the way to 2nd street to get to Belmont Shores. It's a fun route, especially when we passed by the LB marina; I got to see the boathouse and the dragonboats sitting on the shore. I've always wanted to bike to Long Beach for as long as I remember, so I'm happy to check this off of my list of things to do.

Ride 2: For our second ride, Sarah got a new bike which I swear makes her go super fast now; I can't keep up with her. We tried to start our ride at 730am, but I think we didn't actually start riding until 8 or 830am because it was so hard to find parking on the streets. Somehow we managed to get started and we rode carefree until we got to Angel's Stadium. Since it had rained a few days before, part of the path was flooded. We stopped in time to avoid taking a swim with our bikes, but we suffered a minor injury after someone didn't clip out in time and toppled over onto the ground. Rather than cursing or screaming in pain, we laughed. The injury, a bummed knee, didn't stop us from continuing on our ride. We detoured to get around the water and kept going. We got to the sketchy Circle K somewhere in Anaheim... I think... and stopped to turn around since I had to catch a plane in a few hours. At some point, we are both going to try and see what is at the end of that trail. Someday...

It seems that at our turnaround points, we have to do something silly. At Belmont Shores, we stopped to eat at Legends and tooked retarded pictures-- thankfully none have popped up on FB. This time, we stalked a couple of Circle K customers until someone agreed to get a picture of us. We also flipped over our bikes and took pictures of that too. Our rides are so freakin' random, and yet, amusing. On the way back to Huntington Beach (the start of the trail), we had issues with the bike chain and lucked out that some dude with an accent stopped to help us. Whew!

Given that I was frozen the entire bike ride from wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt in 40-50 degree weather, I was so happy when the ride was over!

Ride 3: Last weekend we were supposed to do some hill training since Sarah will be doing the biking leg of our Vineman in July. Being lazy, we opted not to ride through Corona del Mar and Laguna (hilly route) and decided to go back to LB (flat route). Got there, had brunch at Legends (again) and almost whacked a kid in a stroller with our bikes. Almost (whew!).

I don't know what it is but when we are riding... it's like a train wreck! Ok, maybe I'm just a train wreck. I'm usually a really organized person who plans everything out to the last detail, but when we it comes to "planning" a ride with Sarah, I just wing it and figure it will work out somehow. Very atypical of me. I mean, half of the time I'm not even dressed in my biking gear or even close to being ready when Sarah gets to my place. Miraculously, things fall into place and we ride.

Ride 4: Yesterday we finally got together to ride again since Sarah was off her crazy sub-I that has left her sleep deprived and nutty. I got such a tummy-ache from laughing so much. She kept pretending like she was in pain and saying that "it hurrrts to livvve" because she's been so stressed out. We managed to ride to some place in Irvine and turned around. The ride was maybe about an hour or two all together. The route was really cute. It weaved in an out of different neighborhoods in Irvine. I never thought Irvine was so big and cute. It's definitely cookie-cutter. The epitome of the term "suburbia". So adorable. Everything's clean, neat and organized. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised since it's a master-planned community. For a thug like me (I told Sarah on one of our rides that I aspire to live a thug life), Irvine was ridiculously manicured and almost too perfect; it's a cool place but I felt out of place!

On this most recent ride, we didn't do anything dumb at the turnaround point. Instead, we pushed that off to the end of the ride where we both changed into scrubs and bright-ass colored t-shirts and headed out for sangria at The Block. I know this is going off on a tangent, but I swear there is never a dull moment at The Block. Either there are crazy people wearing things they shouldn't or there's something annoying like a giant train winding around the shops. Sitting outside photosythesizing (hey-- don't burst my bubble and tell me humans aren't capable of doing this), I wanted to derail this crazy train with the nonexistent belt of nails I wish I had. It was like the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyland pulled an Ariel and left the water for land: the train wiggled all over the place around the plaza and it was playing the annoying "It's a Small World" song. It was enough to drive anyone insane!!!

Pictures forthcoming...

Yoga: A Second Chance

2011-01-14T19:00:00.000-08:00

(excerpt from an email I wrote)

I have done the unthinkable and wanted to share with my good friends because I'm excited about something that normal people might think is just plain uneventful: I did yoga.

eeps!! ekkkss! wahooo!

I've always hesitated to try yoga again after my first bouts with it in Berkeley doing Bikram (the 102 degree yoga for an hour). My attention span is very short for slow activities and I'd much rather just run on a treadmill or kill myself with some barbells. But today, I pushed myself through 90 minutes of yoga and it was INTENSE! I was sweating within 10 minutes and breathing like some dehydrated puppy in the middle of summer! Wow. It's incredibly challenging. I know I'm not quite as fit as I used to be, but I don't think being more cardiovascularly fit would've helped me anyway. I wish I could've gotten pictures to show you because I toppled over on some of the poses (I'm a swaying tree, not a grounded, firm and strong tree). My body was shaking and my muscles were really being push. Amazing!

Now I get why people who do yoga all the time are so incredibly fit (ok, some of it has to do with diet too). Anyway, I really dont have much else to say. I just wanted to share because I'm excited I forced myself to do something I really dreaded and made it through. That and I think I found a new challenge to keep me going on my quest to feel healthy again. :)

Hope you are doing well. Thanks for reading my rambles.

P.s. I hope I can walk in the morning!

Thinking: A Brand New Year

2011-01-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been figuring out my focus for the new year. When I rang in 2010, I really had no resolutions worth remembering. This year, I want to make some goals that I will hold myself accountable for. Small, short-term goals and one long-term goal. Nothing out of the ordinary since I usually make goals every 6 months anyway.

In 2011 I am creating a new list of professional, personal and physical goals. However, I've been giving them a lot of thought as there have been several opportunities lurking at my side profile. These last few weeks I've been thinking about living and working internationally, investing in another home and focusing on how to make myself a better person. Sounds crazy I know. As I enter my late 20s, I am meticulously attempting to plan a timeline of goals for this second half of my 20s. In my head I question, "Do I want this first or that" ..."Can this wait, or will I miss out on this..."

Ten years ago, I fondly remember the many hopes and dreams I aspired to achieve in as I started college. It was definitely a great point in my life when I not only laid my life foundation, but I also found my passion and chose with courage to follow that passion by the end of my second year at Berkeley. I will always look back and remember working then achieving…working then achieving…WORKING then ACHIEVING…exactly in that order (perhaps we might mix in some pain and agony memories too from stressful problem sets and just school in general, but I digress). Sometimes I had no clue where I was headed and felt defeated and confused, but as always, my head was down and I was working in hopes of acheiving.

As I was training in the gym early this morning I was reading financial tips while performing cardio. It talked about the qualities one needs to possess in order to have financial security. Discipline, patience, sacrifice and a strong work ethic were just some of those traits. These were not surprising as they were all common qualities you needed to possess in any life ambition. All that I've achieved was dependent upon careful planning, consistent follow thru, unending patience, extreme focus and a resilient work ethic.

It seems many people think they can get something for doing nothing, which really annoys me. People think they can create something and get something without generating any work. The truth is that work proceeds achievement. Whatever you invest your time in today will be cultivated tomorrow. So as I trained with intensity and focus at the gym this morning, I reminded myself exactly that...if you want to achieve an incredible physique, you need to work hard - harder than any woman (or man) in this gym. As I continued to goal set I told myself, "Mai, if you want to be happy with what you see in the mirror, have a successful career and start your own company, get ready to work. Get ready to strategize and get ready to fail - then get up, re-strategize and work again." For work proceeds achievement - Work WILL most always proceed achievement.

Realizing the importance of investment in time and work ethic is why I've been thinking so heavily about my goals for 2011. I detest "wasting my life" doing anything that promotes a sedentary mind and stationary lifestyle. Life is to be lived... a field in which you are a player, not just a bystander watching on the sidelines.

Have a safe, healthy and happy New Year everyone. God Bless.

Ironman 70.3: Training Day 1

2010-12-20T00:28:00.000-08:00

So today starts my 6 month training for the half Ironman in July; I was supposed to start on November 1st with my friend, but let's just say it didn't happen.

I did a quick fitness test on Saturday morning with a 15 mile bike ride, a mile swim and a failed attempt at running 3 miles.

Cycling wasn't bad. Swimming immediately after biking wasn't bad either. It was the run after getting out of the pool that got me. I made it a little past a quarter mile and was was done. I probably could've pushed myself through, but I didn't. I was done.

Long road ahead. Yipes.

It seems that I've been failing a lot lately in terms of my workouts. I just don't know what it is. My hunch after "peeling back the layers" is that I'm just not happy. So much is changing in my life at the moment and I while most of it is good change (new place, new work, new adventures), some of it isn't (my weight). Case and point: this past Wednesday I went to see my doctor and he couldn't stop lecturing me about my weight gain. My labs were normal, but the numbers following "weight" on my charts was just plain depressing. My doctor was shocked, but I wasn't because I know that for the first time, I let myself go. I guess in a way it was a good thing that he lectured me about it. A good wake up call, even though I've already started to turn things around.

Slowly but surely.

And so, I'm on a mission to get back into shape by the time this Vineman event rolls around. Of course, I plan to reach this goal earlier than the race date, but we'll see. Change takes time and I really need to learn patience. My hunch is that as I get into better shape, my mood and my outlook will get better and more happy too.

On this week's schedule:

cycling 100 miles
swimming 1.5 miles
running 10 miles (mix sprints and long runs)
weight training 3x

I'm not excited right now since all of this will make me uncomfortable as I struggle to get fit again, but I will be happy once I get to the end.

Hiking: Mt. Wilson

2010-12-19T22:01:00.000-08:00

The reviews for the Mt. Wilson Trail were correct: it is a challenge. I don't think it helped that Carmine and I prepared for our 15 mile roundtrip hike by visiting the bars and 'hydrating' with beer the night before. We made it though, sort of. Not really. Read on...

The plan was to leave my place by 6am to start our hike at 7am. I slept through my alarm and we ended up reaching the trailhead around 830am instead. It had to be one of the sunniest days for December (mid-80s). Equipped with whatever we could remember to throw into our bags an hour earlier, we began our hike (fyi: trailhead location: 89 Mira Monte Ave, Sierra Madre, CA). It was pure uphill from there, much like the walk to the summit of Mt. Si. Mt. Wilson scenery, however, was not as cool as that of Mt. Si's.

Within the first few hundred meters, I realized that I was out of shape. I mean, the other mountains I climbed were challenging, but they didn't take my breath away nor make my legs ache within the first five minutes! I couldn't really stop to rest though, because I was hiking with someone this time and I wanted to keep up. That and I just really needed the challenge. Or perhaps, I just really like inflicting pain on myself.

I can't say that the hike was pretty or really that scenic. To be honest, the entire time when I wasn't gasping for air, I was thinking about Mike. He had hiked this back when he moved to California (alone because I was MCAT studying) last year. The only hike we didn't do together. I remember that he sent me a picture message of the view from his hike and unfortunately, it's really the only view worth a picture on the entire hike (picture to the right).

I forget which trail that Carrie and I took a couple years ago when she took me on a hike to the falls in the same area (San Gabriel Mountains). That trail was definitely more scenic and I remember enjoying it much more than the Mt. Wilson Trail (both apparently, lead to the top of Mt. Wilson). I wished that I had researched it a little more since Carmine brought his cool camera with him and pictures of the cottages and the falls would've been far more pleasant the picture you see to your right.

We made it to First Falls, which was two miles into the hike. Actually, we weren't really sure where first falls were since we heard water at several points in the early moments on our hike, but we assumed that we reached it. Trekking onward, we reached Orchard Camp, the halfway point to the summit after two and a half hours. We had an early lunch and then started up the switchbacks. You could tell that most people turned around after reaching Orchard Camp since the trail was not as weathered and worn in as the first half. We climbed over a couple boulders, hopped over some giant fallen trees and passed by many a manzanita 'bush'. We had about two miles to go to reach the summit when we decided we were going to turn around. We saw the summit from where we were (see left picture) and that was enough. One can only be inspired and motivated to continue so much by the view of smog and the city of Pasadena below (ZzzzZzzz...). Even the desire to reach the top and finish wasn't convincing enough to make us want to reach the top. Ugly, ugly, fugly this hike was.

So, we bid adieu to our goals of reaching the top of Mt. Wilson.

The hike downhill was definitely much faster, but it seemed never-ending. We ran parts of the way down and I'll admit that at some points, I spread my arms out and pretended that I was an airplane just hoping it would make the hike down go by faster. Sometimes it was so hard to stop once I started jogging downhill that I thought I was going to fall. Luckily, I sustained no scrapes or bruises (a first, right?!) and only stubbed my big toes a few times because I didn't see a branch or a rock that was in my path. :)

For me, it was refreshing to go on a hike and not get in trouble for tripping over something. It was also nice not to get left behind or be told to hurry up. I took breaks and I enjoyed whatever caught my eye along the hike. I didn't feel the urge or actually curse my hiking buddy for making my life miserable; when I hiked with Mike, many times I got upset and thought I would be better off hiking alone than to hike with him. Turns out I was mostly right: I did enjoy hiking on my own than hiking with him, but it also turns out that I do like hiking with other people, just not him. Hiking is challenging in itself, but it's nice to be with people who are fun and make the hike pleasant, not miserable. This is how I always thought hiking with friends would be. I thought I was delusional for the past 5-6 years, but after hiking Gorgonio with Nam and Mt. Si with Klay and Anh, and now, going on the hike with Carmine, I realized that my initial thoughts weren't so crazy after all.

Even though we didn't make it to the summit, I felt great once I got back to the car. I felt the same sense of accomplishment that I did at the end of my other hikes, though for different reasons; I wasn't angry/upset/emotional this time like I was when climbing Mts. Baldy/San Antonio, San Jacinto and Gorgonio. Since I haven't been really good with keeping a routine workout schedule, I was happy that I pushed myself to keep climbing even though I was physically uncomfortable from feeling out of shape. I plan to go back and finish this hike in the next few weeks since the bugs and mosquitoes are not as prevalent during this time of the year as they are in the summer. I will update the blog once I reattempt this hike. I'm secretly thinking of dragging Nam on the hike with me.

Check back later to see what it looks like from the top of Mt. Wilson (my guess: ugly). Regardless of how ugly, I just need to get to the top so that I don't have a hike that is left undone! :)

Sailing: Intermediate Class Day 1

2010-11-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

I had a hard time getting myself psyched for today's sailing class. As mentioned in my earlier sailing post, I am not too excited about sailing anymore. Equipped with this quitter's mentality, I really had to force myself to go.

I went, but.....

I was five minutes late to class. Just before class, I took my grand time at the Schwab office figuring out how I would trade when I go abroad next week. Not allowing myself enough time to get to the sailing center, I walked in just in time for the review on sailing positions and knot tying. Then it was off to the water.

New boats! Getting a little excited now. Cooler boats!

Everything finally clicked after half an hour on the boat. Finally. Up until this afternoon, I could only confidently say that I knew my sailing terminology and how to rig my own boat successfully. I could navigate alright, but I'm sure I didn't look too comfortable doing it. For those of you who know me, I would say that I was still sailing with that really serious look that tells you that I'm still too focused and stressed about making a mistake (you know, that look that people who don't know me mistake for me being pissed and b!tchy). But it all made sense to me today after my instructor was telling me about how to sail watching my jib while tac-ing up the marina. I am more relaxed and "graceful" with my sailing now. What a relief.

I still think sailing is more work than I want for a recreational activity though. However, I do think I've found some motivation to continue with a better attitude. Sadly, I will miss class next week since I'll be out of the country, but after Thanksgiving, class resumes again and back onto the water I go.

Whee!

Sailing: Part 1/4 done!

2010-11-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

I went to the last of my beginner sailing courses today. This means there was a written test. After getting through the multiple choice and matching questions, I decided to be an overacheiver by answering the bonus questions at the end.

Results: I passed. Whew!

After the exam, we headed out onto the water. It was unusually warm for this time of year (89F in November!) so I tried my best to wear clothes that wouldn't cramp my tanning style. Thankfully I had something else to work on (tanning) because it was very uneventful out on the water today; the wind was no where to be found. So instead of sailing and flying across the water on a beautiful Southern California day, I ended up floating (very slowly) and drifting (painfully slow) along the marina. My life (and time) just seemed so slow to the point where I thought I must have been in hell. I think the only other time I've felt this way was when I tried yoga. Only with the yoga, I tried Bikram, so the 102F heat made it more hell-listic. Needless to say an angel, in the form of my instructor on a motorboat, came to the rescue and towed all four of our sailboats back into the docks today. Had my instructor not taken such intiative, I bet I would still be blowing into my sail right now, hoping that I could create "poser" wind to bring me back to shore.

I was the last boat on this string of five sailboats (we picked up some other guy in the club who was sailing alone and miserably stranded so our group of 4 boats turned into five). I felt like I was sitting at the back end of a roller coaster and being pulled in all sorts of directions as we were being towed. Rather than steering to minimize the sudden turns and wreckless swinging of my boat's boom, I decided to imagine myself as a drunken catepillar where his tail end (analogy: my boat at the end of the tow) was doing a wild dance. I don't know what the judges on Dancing with the Stars would say, but I'd give myself a 9/10 for my ability to amuse myself.

Yes, childish of me, but it was a lot of fun!

I hate to admit this, but I think sailing is starting to bore me. I'm pretty sure it's not so entertaining to me because I'm not feeling like I've worked hard physically; more often than not, I only get a sense of satisfaction from my "outdoorsy adventures" when my heart races and my cardiovascular system gets worked up. I think sailing would be more exciting for me if my "normal day job(s)" were more physically exhausting. Instead, my line of work requires being sendentary most of the time and devoting my mental abilities towards coding and figuring out number thingies. In other words, the last thing I want to do after working is to go participate in a recreational activity that requires me to waste more brain power to pay attention to winds and think about my course of navigation. I prefer to let my mind rest and wander off when I'm not working. I like to just pop in my earphones, drown myself in music, and just be a vegetable. Sailing is not conducive to this way of life.

But, I'm not a quitter.

SOOOOO.... I will complete my courses and get my certification so that I finish what I started, but I'm going to focus more on rowing or paddling again. Since I'll be living less than a mile from the beach very soon, I have no excuses. In the meantime, I will just think of sailing as my equivalent of "golf" and use it as my (lame)social excuse for conducting business stuff outside the office or being "yuppy". ZzZZzz...

So much for trying a new activity that would help me become less socially inept!

Back to my one-person adventures. Woohoo!

Triathlon: 1 Half Ironman Turns into 2!

2010-10-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's entry was supposed to be about how registration just opened for the Vineman 70.3 (aka Half Ironman) that I've been eying since leaving Ithaca two years ago. Following the announcement, I was going to proclaim that I registered for the event.

Change of plans.

In the midst of finishing a grant proposal this evening, I was talking to my friends Steph and Chris about the Vineman 70.3. As suggested training, Steph, Chris's wife, said I should do the Olympic distance Wildflower triathlon in May as training for my July Vineman. Then Chris, who was at the airport on his way back to CA, texted me and said he was thinking about doing the long distance Wildflower triathlon. Long distance? After a quick google search, I realized that the "long distance" was actually the equivalent of a half Ironman distance (1.2mi swim, 56mi bike, 13.1mi run). Yikes!

I talked to Chris after he landed back in CA and long story short, we have decided to challenge ourselves to do both the long distance Wildflower AND the Vineman 70.3. So that "training triathlon" that was supposed to help me gauge my readiness for the Vineman has now turned into its own beast of a half Ironman.

Can we say "CRAZY?!"

So we are both going to push ourselves to train starting tomorrow. You can read about our fun and our frustrations leading up to the May 1st and July 17th events in this blog. For me, this will be the first time I train with someone besides myself for any of my "sporty" challenges. I hope it will be more fun since I have a buddy who knows exactly what I'm going through as I gear up for both events.

More information on each event can be found through the links below. Let me know if you want to join! The more the merrier. We both also wouldn't mind spectators or supporters on the day of either race, so holler if you are interested!

Wildflower Triathlon
Vineman 70.3

Ah, life is fanfreakintastic!

Sailing: Halfway Done

2010-10-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

I'm halfway done with my first sailing course, which means I'm a little closer to becoming a legit sailor (3 more months to go)!

Today was nothing like last week. The winds were blowing and surprisingly, it was sunny; we've been having thunderstorms all week in Southern CA! With a full moon tomorrow, the currents and tides were all sorts of crazies. We were in pairs for today's sail and I was first up as skipper. Not really understanding the implications of strong winds, I didn't think sailing would be as challenging as it was this afternoon. In fact, I almost had a heart attack when the dinghy started flying across the marina as we left the dock; my adrenaline was rushing within the first couple of minutes on the water and the boat was tipping so much to one side that I almost started to freak out... almost.

Rule #1: be as cool as a cucumber

Unlike last week when I only had the main sail, today I had to deal with a main sail and a jib on top of strong winds. It was confusing and more work than I thought. Perhaps sailing isn't so easy?! Ah well, after a few gybes (quick turn), tacks (smooth, slower turn) and a few close calls, I finally got the hang of it and sailed up and down the marina and lido looking like that cool cucumber.

I felt like I was gliding at 100mph on that water. Obviously I wasn't, but I was moving so fast it was surreal! When I was running up the water (going with the wind blowing behind me), it felt easier to sail and even a little slower even though I know that isn't true. I started texting and facebooking at this point. Ideally, I should've brought some cool tasty beverage to enjoy, but I didn't know any better.

...Had a bonus during today's training, which was seeing three sets of eights rowing through the marina. Talk about eye candy! 3x8= 24 very fit crew men. They were also sculling so it was quite a sight to behold since most crews of 8 are usually sweeping (one oar each person). Sometimes I wish I were petite enough to be a cox for a men's eight! Kidding. Ok, only slightly.

Next week I learn all the right-of-ways and learn how to handle capsizing. Technically I already voluntarily capsized last week, but this coming week I get to learn what to do after you capsize (besides laugh and waddle around in the water like an idiot)!

Time to pull out the wetsuit because I'm a wimp and don't want to be cold the next time I capsize.

...Now to learn how to steer the boat, not to get whacked by the boom (been lucky so far) AND hold a glass of blackberry Clearly Canadian all at once while looking classy!

More to come.

Thinking: After Seven Years... A Halflete?

2010-10-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

The summer of 2003 was a changing point in my life. It was the first time that I signed up to do something very much out of my comfort zone just to see what would happen. Being the kid who grew up avoiding the sandbox and/or playground out of fear that I would get dirt on my hands or any where else on my body, I am still in disbelief after all these years that I applied to an 8 week research position to track and monitor turkeys in the wild. I remember being even more shocked that I was chosen for the position with absolutely no field biology experience. Not knowing what I was really getting myself into besides radio-tracking wild turkeys up and down the hills of Carmel Valley, I was ridiculously excited about the opportunity to live on a wildlife reserve! Not to mention, I was finally going to do something besides studying. I swear, my life up until then was (and still is, to some degree) defined by studying and academic everything.

Turns out that living in Carmel was a complete 180 from what I was used to in Berkeley, much less any where else I had lived in my short 17 years of life. I took up residence in the Red House, which was half of a house that I shared with one other person (I had three different housemates within those 8 weeks!). Everything in that house was prehistoric at best, but all was functional. Instead of watching TV, I spent time sitting on a porch watching hummingbirds come to the feeder early in the morning and late in the afternoon. Sometimes I’d even see deer wandering around my car or near the house. I read and journaled a lot while out there too. My week was routine. I spent my mornings spying on turkeys while my afternoons consisted of time in the lab or working on a model for egg discrimination. Tuesday evenings were highly anticipated as it was trivia night and farmer's market in town (Monterrey), so everyone out on the reserve would head out there for some fun. It was also the time we'd all go grocery shopping since the reserve was a good 30 minutes from any sort of stores! Not to mention, the drive into town consisted of a one lane road that wound around hills like crazy; you didn't want to drive this unless you really, absolutely had to, especially if you have my driving skills!

Man o man. Fun times.

That summer I learned that fun went beyond shopping malls and owning/collecting useless things. In fact, I discovered that I enjoyed my "new fun" more than my "old fun". Instead of killing time walking around the mall, I was enjoying get-togethers with other people on the reserve to play board games and/or drinking games (my first game of beer pong and flip cup), grilling for dinner over this huge pit, hiking and running.

Out of all of my discoveries, the physical activity part had the biggest impact on me. Prior to this, I was that sedentary fat kid who avoided PE all my life and running was about as close to my idea of death as it came! Now, I was inspired by the people around me. I even got over my annoyance with dirt and sweat and enjoyed these jogs and walks everyone took. After 8 weeks, I found myself buying a pair of running shoes and jogging as often as I could during my last year at Berkeley. I even went out to buy a road bike to get even more into the whole physical fitness thing.

My first year of being "physically active" was invigorating and while I thought I was pretty decent at jogging and cycling, in retrospect, I was extremely slow and terrible. Talk about mental perception being really skewed (but I guess it was good motivation back then). I still remember huffing and puffing trying to bike up Tunnel Road with Kevin all those years ago; he was flying up the hill and there I was thinking my bike went defective on me when I almost came to a complete standstill in the middle of a hill climb-- yes, I didn't admit it then, but I was just really out of shape.

I continued to workout and even started changing my diet after I saw that the people in Carmel ate so simple and healthy. It was hard, but I was motivated. Eventually, when I moved to Ithaca a year later, I achieved full "health nut" status after living with two nutritionists, one of whom was a vegetarian; I learned a lot about food and portion sizes by just observing my roommates and what they ate, how much, etc. They were both in really good shape too so that motivated me even more to continue with this new "active" lifestyle I was adopting.

Moving to Ithaca and just being at Cornell was the best thing that had ever happened to me (and still is). I was on a roll since summer of 2003 and my life just seemed to get better and better. My anxiety with people, for the first time, was curbed with my minute increase in self-confidence and satisfaction with my life; I started talking more and just being social. While my personality did not change, my ability to let my guard down so that people outside of my family could get to know me was slowly becoming a reality. Still shy now, but I’ve made leaps and bounds in terms of progress in this aspect of my life! Hard to believe, I know.

As far as developing an active lifestyle when I moved to Ithaca, I made the effort to start running this short loop around my neighborhood every morning. I also went spinning every other day and cycled around whenever I could. I walked home every day regardless of upstate weather and that was great. I even discovered dragonboating and started rowing a single for the first time. Picked up snowboarding and was just a happy person inside and out. I felt great.

I was living my life how I saw fit, not allowing parents, aunts or uncles or cousins to give me a hard time about what I had to do next or what I should be doing or thinking. I was creating a life of my own and doing what I felt passionate about. Cheesy, but I was on some sort of journey of "self-discovery" which now I realize is just called living one’s life! It was fantastic to get away from the pressures of people who have just stressed me out for as long as I can remember back in CA.

I was free.

With all this energy in me during my first year in Ithaca, I decided to challenge myself and signed up for my first 5K. I exceeded my expectations for my first race by finishing in 24 minutes and 22 seconds, which was much faster than my goal of finishing at a 10 minute mile pace. I then went on to complete a 5 miler where I had a 7 minute and 51 second per mile pace. Crazy for someone who hated (and still hates) running! I also did a century ride through all five boroughs of NYC within the first month of moving to New York. That ride was, by far, the hardest thing I had ever done at the time and still have yet to repeat such a feat. I’ve come close, doing a 60 mile ride a couple of weeks ago, but nothing close to a 100 miles, which I should try doing soon. But I will admit that after all of these years, cycling has finally gotten easier for me; I can climb hills and not be hanging on to my dear life for a breath of fresh air!

Somewhere in the midst of all this crazy cycling and running in Ithaca, I found the courage to sign myself up for a half marathon and a triathlon a couple of years later in 2008. The Skunk Cabbage Half was a lot easier than I thought only because Bec, a colleague in my department, kept a consistent pace that helped me pace the whole 13.1 miles; at that point in my life, I ran at no consistent pace and believed that I should just run as fast as I could for as long as I could until I crossed the finish line. Thinking about it now, I realize that if it was not for Bec, I probably would have had anything but a pleasant experience for my first "long distance" run. I did talk the whole way with her, so I know I didn't run as fast as I could, but the fact was that I finished, which my goal (ok, to finish and under a 10 min/mile pace which I also did!). Keuka Lake tri was something else. I thought I was going to drown in the frigid lake and must have swallowed a small pond's worth of water during that short quarter mile swim sprint. The cycling was the easiest and the running was killer after cycling 15 miles of hills (thinking running with legs made of jell-o!). I managed to get a pace less than 10 minutes, but it was still the longest 5K I've ever ran. As soon as I finished the course, I just packed up and left because I was just that exhausted. Turns out I finished 3rd in my age group that day but didn't stick around for the prize. To date, I still haven't completed another tri because I still dread that frigid water and the burning lungs and legs sensation during the run event.

Despite my amateur ways of going about these races, I thought my physical fitness was improving. Thinking I was ready for "something big" when I moved back to CA, I signed up for my first marathon: the Nike Women's Marathon in SF. Admittedly, I chose this for my first marathon vs. any other marathon because the finisher's medal was a Tiffany's necklace and I don't own anything Tiffany's; figured that I should earn my necklace so that my first Tiffany's anything would be worth something beyond being a piece of jewelry. So, with my parents and my godmother cheering me on, I finished my first marathon in 5 hours and 21 minutes. It was painful experience. This was the most stress I had ever put on my body in terms of physical endurance because I could not walk or sit down without being in excruciating pain for days after the race. In fact, muscles that I didn't know existed, ached. Never mind the fact that I had trained for this marathon a good 6 months ahead of time; training did nothing to help me achieve a steady pace. In fact, my pacing ranged from 8-16 minute miles and I was tired by mile 4 of the race from starting wayyy tooo fast! Thankfully, with a combination of walking and running and hobbling, I managed to cross the finish line two years ago.

While I finished my first marathon, I vowed that someday I would rerun this course and not walk any part of it. I felt like a cheater for not running the whole marathon route and I knew I just had to rectify this someday. I didn't have any time frame in mind except that I would do it at some point in my life. Turns out this year was the year. Best part is that I didn't train at all for this marathon. I actually never had any runs this year over 8 miles! My guess is that all of those "climbing random mountains" that I've done since July and my random "triathlon" days where I swim, bike and run for a day’s workout must have done the trick. That and maybe my trail running through El Moro Canyon? Still not too sure what it was that helped exactly, but it worked! (You can read my Run: Marathon) entry for more details on my run today.

So I guess today was the FIRST moment since adopting my new lifestyle in 2003 where I finally felt "physically fit" and good about finishing one of my crazy sport-ish activities. Who knew it would take 7 good years of training to get to this point?! To be able to run and not stop for a single second-- I skipped all water and aid stations-- was just wild. 4 hours 44 minutes and 49 seconds of non-stop running. To think that my idea to run 4 half marathons in 4 weeks last October (2009: Sacramento Cowtown Half, Long Beach Half, Nike Women’s Half and New Orleans Jazz Half) would be the pinnacle of my crazy sport ideas for at least a few years!

Wow. Still in disbelief. ...I guess it should be expected that I’m always trying to one up myself!

I’ve come a long ways!

I had set out in 2003 to become healthier and gave myself 18 years to catch up with the rest of the healthy population in America; figured that if it took me 18 years to develop and reinforce bad habits, it would be reasonable to think that 18 years would be needed for me to reverse them. While I know most of my bad habits were a function of my upbringing that consisted of fast food and unlimited portions thanks to my parents thinking that more food was better than less (they starved a lot when they grew up in Vietnam), I felt it was my responsibility to have known better as a kid. Thinking that it was better late than never, I started educating myself in 2003 and onward, reading and making changes to my lifestyle and habits. It wasn’t easy (still isn’t), but I can finally see some positive results from my efforts after all these years. This process has been very slow and steady, making it a great challenge for me since I’m so used to getting things done quickly and ahead of schedule!
It’s been hard, but I’m starting to see the changes in me and my physical abilities recently.

Call me crazy, but I'm so pumped to get other people into this state of madness that I've enjoyed so much. Today at the race, even more than the aforementioned accomplishment, I was excited that my cousin, Anh, and my brother, Nam, were also running the half-marathon for the second year in a row; I got both of them into the whole idea of running and thinking they could (and would) finish a half marathon back in March 2009). I even had my friend Opal running this marathon; I had challenged and paced her to finish her very first full marathon earlier this year (in January) at Disney World! Congratulations to Opal because she beat her previous marathon time by more than an hour!

I'm so proud and extremely happy that some of my friends and family have found enjoyment in this running business! They inspire me to continue with my running! It’s just amazing what the human body can do if you just put your mind to it!

As for "what's next?", my list of things to do before July/August when I start medical school:

1. finish a marathon in less than 4 hours (obviously no walking!)
2. complete the Vineman 70.3 race in Napa (half Iron Man)
3. do another century ride (100 miles of cycling!) and finish it without any breaks (first century completed 2004 in NYC but many, many breaks)
4. summit Mt. Whitney and Half Dome
5. compete in my first sailing regatta (I'll be certified and licensed come end of January!)

With all that has happened, I finally think I can start training like a "halflete" (not quite a real athlete because I'm definitely not one, but just a stubborn average chick with too much energy on my hands) and get to the next level of crazy for my sporty activities. It's funny because I didn't realize how far I had come until I was chatting with Shardul today about my list of "what's next" and he replied with "Omg, no pacing for you, huh? Full blast" to which I spontaneously responded "not really... I've been pacing since 2003." It's true now that I think about it: I've been unknowingly training to get to get to today's marathon milestone and getting to the point where my list of events to do next are very challenging for even the average Joe.

Thanks, Shardul, for inspiring this entry.

... I think I've finally caught up with the rest of America and it took less than my projected 18 years!

Soooo... parting words of advice: if you have been thinking about trying something new and out of your comfort zone or just something you never thought you could or would do, quit thinking about it and just go ahead and channel those thoughts and feelings into doing it! Use that energy and dive head in! Get out of your current funk! Whatever your new challenge might be, don't worry if it's not perfectly planned out or executed--I'm guilty of doing that often times. Just realize that you'll definitely learn something about yourself and maybe discover something pleasantly amusing and fun... something out of your normal routine! You can tell me all about it too if you want; I'd love to hear about it! :)

Whee!

Running: Nike Marathon SF

2010-10-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

Running: 4 hrs 44 mins 49 sec marathon (click the image to the right to see my run stats for the event!)

I will start out by saying that I didn't train at all for this marathon, which means that this was the first race that I have ever been nervous about in my entire life. In fact, I had a nightmare last night that I had accidentally slept in and missed the marathon. Thankfully it was just a dream and I was up and ready at 6:15am. Ok, truth be told: I was up but I definitely wasn't ready.

I wouldn't have signed up for the full marathon if it had not been for Opal wanting to do another full marathon after I paced her to finish her first marathon in Orlando in January 2010. Reluctant and knowing I wouldn't want to train, I signed up thinking that the act of registering would motivate me to quit being lazy. Wrong. I actually forgot about this marathon and didn't realize it was coming up until two weeks ago when my cousin Anh said she hadn't trained and the Nike Half Marathon/Marathon was quickly approaching. With only two weeks at that point, I figured that there was no point in trying to half ass any sort of training (aka I was lazy) so I decided I was going to wing this marathon somehow. My goal would be to just finish (again, bum mentality). However, this morning while I was getting dressed, I decided that I needed a more defined goal for this marathon because I knew that no matter what, I would finish this marathon due to my stubborn nature and inability to accept failure. So, I told everyone I was going to finish under 5 hours, and I also told myself in my mind that I was going to further challenge myself to not take any breaks or to stop for any reason (except death) for the entire 26.2 miles. With that said and done, Opal and I were set to do the full marathon and my brother and cousin were set on their half marathon.

We rolled out of the hotel about 20 minutes before the start time of 7am and before we knew it, the marathon started. My brother and Anh started with the 9:30 min/mile group and originally Opal and I were going to start with them too. However, I decided to move Opal and myself to the 5:00 finish time group instead because I wanted us to start out really slow and not over exert ourselves in the beginning. After all, it was going to be a long 26.2 miles!

So I started with a slower group and knew that as long as I ran ahead of the 5:00 pacer person, I'd reach my goal of running a sub 5 hour marathon. Sneaky, right?

Here's a summary of my thoughts during the run:

Walking out of the hotel room: Hmmm... I think a banana nut muffin is an appropriate pre-race meal. I don't even like banana nut muffins, but hell, it's going to burn off anyway. I just need something in my stomach. Chomp.

Mile 1:
Not so bad. I started with the slower folks so I had a false sense of confidence as I passed people. Only 25.2 miles to go. Oh look! There's the Burberry store where my dad just bought me a luggage set! Oh! There's the Schwab building... I love trading through Charles Schwab! My mind then started to drift as I thought about Monday's market opening and what I was going to do.

Mile 2:
Made it to the piers and still thinking about what stocks I wanted to dump on Monday. Ahead I caught a glimpse of the first water station. I purposely avoided any water stations this entire race so that I wouldn't have to stop and waste any time or have any excuse for a break (remember my goal?). Lucky for me, I brought a water belt that had an 8oz bottle of water and an 8oz bottle of Gatorade attached to it. Obviously the Gatorade was purple, my favorite color (flavor-wise, not my favorite). I'm not sure if it was the right Gatorade though: evidently, there is pre-race Gatorade then performance Gatorade and post-race recovery Gatorade. Not sure when it got so complicated and rather than trying to figure it all out, I just grabbed the one with the color I liked the most at the liquor store Saturday night.

The belt idea turned out to be a good one since I learned from my recent cycling trips that drinking from a bottle was much easier than trying to drink straight up from a cup while in the middle of cycling (or running in this case); I could actually get a decent amount of liquid into my mouth with a squirt bottle rather than some Dixie cup that would just end up spilling its contents all over me. Ah, the beauty of trial and error and having experience with road races. I've finally learned.

Mile 3:
Starting to hit the first of the inclines going up Hyde to Ghiradelli Square. My body is finally warming up. Man a brownie sounds great right now. Oh wait, another incline-- screw the brownie. Hey! That wasn't so bad! Running up those two inclines don't even compare to any of the switchbacks I've seen climbing the Three Saints of Southern California! Nice!

Miles 4-6:
I was just listening to Usher's "Hot Tottie" on repeat and zoning out. Just one foot in front of the other, trying to stay as close to the 5:00 finish time pacer as possible. ZZzzZzzzz...

Mile 6-10:
And the steepest of the inclines were here. I remember having to walk this part my first attempt at the full marathon back in 2008. I think I even walked or took a break last year during the half marathon too. This year it actually wasn't that bad. I was really shocked. I just kept a steady pace and made my way through it! It was hard to keep myself from sprinting as fast as I could to get the hills over with, but it paid off! The downhill was amazing. Throughout these 4 miles, the Golden Gate Bridge was in plain sight. I even tried to distract myself from the fact that I was running by counting the number of cables supporting the bridge. I counted about 167 strands and figured that I was double counting since some looked like they were bunched up. Turns out, according to about.com, there are only TWO cables and over 27K wires (opps!):

# Cable Facts:

* Two main cables pass over the tops of the main towers and are secured in concrete anchorages at each end. Each cable is made of 27,572 strands of wire. There are 80,000 miles (129,000 km) of wire in the two main cables, and it took over six months to spin them

... lesson learned: do not attempt any sort of counting or elementary mathematics while running a marathon, much less running on inclines unless you are fully prepared for gross inaccuracies and fuzzy logic.

Mile 11:
Here's where the first of two mind tortures occurred: the marathon route splits for half marathon runners vs. full marathon runners just before mile 11 and again, around mile 15. Oh how I wanted to just veer towards the right and be done in 2.1 miles! I didn't particularly care to run through Golden Gate Park much longer, especially since I just drove through there yesterday and got lost because it was so massive! Alas, I took the proper course and accepted the fact that I wouldn't exit the park until I hit mile 15 while the half marathon runners like my brother would leave the park at mile 12. The only upside was that I saw my mom just before mile 11 who threw me half a banana (I want to think she did it out of love, but it was most likely out of fear that I was going to collapse and that she'd have to go claim my body at first aid station). Yum. Glucose.

Mile 12-15:
I don't remember all of these rolling hills and false flats from 2008. Then again, back in 2008, I was delirious trying to do a walk/jog combo to get myself to the finish line. This time around, I was actually feeling great and my energy was starting to pick up. I think it was that banana. Because of this banana and my mood shortly after, I'm going to vouch for its claim as being a "superfood" from now on. Maybe.

Changes were coming now as I became sick of hearing "you can be my hot tottie x2, you said you wanna leave me bettah x2... wait a minute m**f*... you're body is my hobby, we freakin' it ain't cheatin' as long as we tell nobody...I'll meet you in the lobby... hot tottie..." for the last 12 miles! Tuning out Usher and the nonsensical song that I enjoy so much, I opted for Enrique's "Baby I like it" to at least get me out of Golden Gate Park. Turns out I never changed my music after this moment and Enrique sang to me as I sprinted across the finish line some 14.2 miles later (go ahead, show me that fist pump!).

Mile 16-18:
I was out of Golden Gate Park (thankfully) and had now lost the 5:00 pace person behind me (victory dance, horray!) ...Now to make sure pacer lady in pink didn't catch up to me!

Meanwhile, I started getting grossed out thinking people ahead of me were spitting or that their sweat was flying off of them and onto me. The little drip of wet was just nasty feeling and eww. I tell you, my level of annoyance was growing and it almost felt like I was at the gym doing interval sprints on the treadmill while having someone with roadkill in their mouth breathing into my space. No bueno.

Turns out, my logic wasn't completely out of the window during this marathon because I came to my senses and realized that 20% of rain in the forecast for Sunday was becoming a reality. Thankfully I was not wearing white, so no wet shirt contest for me!

Mile 19-24:
The seemingly endless loop around Lake Merced. I started to slow down a bit here due to fatigue. I ate some Clif Blocks (tropical punch=best flavor ever!) to give me some sugar and it helped a little. Having some doode on a bike next to me talking to his friend who was running the marathon was not so helpful. Thankfully enough people around me got upset with him and he rode away.

The rain was getting heavier and was no longer a "slight shower" as the weatherman had predicted the night before on TV. I didn't mind it so much since I was hot and sweaty anyway. My right knee gave me a little scare on two different occassions while I was running around the lake. Fortunately, nothing came of it. I passed the chocolate mile (they give you Ghiradelli chocolate squares to motivate you to finish) not taking any chocolates and was feeling really pumped when I saw the route make a turn back up to The Great Highway; back in 2008 my leg cramped so badly when I was jogging and walking this portion of the marathon route that I feared it was going to happen again during this marathon. Thankfully, I was still in great shape this point and even started to pick up my speed again (must have been that banana kicking in again).

Miles 24-26:
I didn't even pay attention to the fact the ocean was literally right next to me when I was running miles 16-19 which was going in the opposite direction to where I was now. That tells you how tuned out I was earlier! Knowing during miles 24-26 that the ocean was next to me, I watched the waves crash and just felt so blessed to have such an opportunity to challenge myself both mentally and physically. To think some people have never seen SF from this perspective (or even the ocean for that matter!). The ocean and its waves are gorgeous and so fascinating!

Home stretch now. I want to sprint but know I might just crap out if I start now, so I refrained.

Mile 26.0-26.2:
Wow. It really didn't feel so long to run 26.2 miles. Seriously! I expected to be in pain, especially since I didn't train, but I was shocked that I was feeling good and energized. The rain was still coming down pretty hard and puddles were everywhere but I took whatever energy I had left in me and started sprinting to the finish line. It was surreal. Up until this point, I had been on the lookout for friends and family in the cheering sections, but these last two-tenths of a mile I focused on nothing other than coordinating my legs, my breathing and my determination to finish under 5 hours and finish as best I could. My mom said that she, Nam, my dad and my cousin were all calling out for me and cheering for me but I didn't look up like I had the previous two times I ran in this race. My brother knew what I was up to and he said I looked like I was pissed off! Regardless, I picked up my pace and passed up a bunch of people and crossed the finish line in 4 hours 44 minutes and 49 seconds. Wow. Not a single break for food or water; I only ate what I carried with me in my belt (except for the banana my mom tossed to me)and even then I only ate or drank while maintaining my steady running pace-- multi-tasking at its best!

Ahh, I finally freaking did it!

I RAN an ENTIRE marathon.

I knew I was going to come back someday to this same race, which was my first full marathon run ever back in 2008 to rectify my dismal 5 hour and 21 minute finish that included walking and stretching breaks, but I didn't think it would be this year. Perhaps it's fitting that I ran 26.2 miles at the age of 26 and two months? (kidding).

It felt great afterwards. In fact, I was so full of energy despite my quads slowly starting to tighten up that I wished I had Bob, my road bike, with me so that I could go for a quick ride to celebrate and really kill off all this excess energy still left in me. It's almost midnight now and I'm not even tired. I am on fire and just thinking what else I can do in the future to challenge myself even more!

Alas, time to force myself to go to bed. I'm sure I will be sore in the morning!

(update: 10/18: my quads are sore and my left ankle, which has not fully healed since my little fall in Seattle is a little bothersome. Definitely not even the same magnitude of pain as I felt back in 2008. This must be a sign that I can't be THAT out of shape anymore!)

Sailing: Day 1

2010-10-15T18:17:00.000-07:00

Four hours of pure bliss! I spent an hour in class learning basic sailing terminology and then BAM-- on the water for the remaining three hours!
My favorite term--and probably the only one I remember from class-- is "turning turtle" which is one step beyond capsizing: your boat turns a complete 180 and the top of the sail is pointing vertically downward into the water; capsizing is just when your boat flips onto its side. I'm still thinking about what "turning turtle" must be like! ;)

Anyway...

Out on the docks, I learned how to tie various knots and how each of the "ropes" worked. It was a little overwhelming to get all of the ropes down, but once I got my sail up and ready, I made it into the boat (without falling out, which is always a possibility with me!) and was ready to launch.

Wow. So much easier to get out onto the water than any crew shell or even a dragonboat! I was afraid that I wouldn't be coordinated enough to steer and control the sail (there are technical terms for these parts of the boat, but I haven't memorized them yet), but it wasn't bad at all. I had no trouble steering like I did a long time ago in Ithaca during my first dragonboat race where I completely took the boat off course-- I'll never forget that mortifying moment! Even the turns and speed controls were easier to manipulate on this dinghy. I think the hardest part is adjusting to the ever-changing winds; you can be sailing in one direction and all of a sudden the wind direction changes or some boat speeds by and steals your wind and you're just moving at the speed of a snail. Other than that, all of the basic tricks and skills that I've learned from rowing and paddling all apply to this sailing business. So. much. fun!

Anyway, once I got comfortable, I started to race against some of my classmates. The women in my class didn't seem too keen on the idea, but the guys were all for it. Just based on past experiences (i.e. been there, done that whole overly cautious thing), I think sometimes people just need to relax and have fun; the men seemed to be able to do this while the women were too worried about all the things that might go wrong and not knowing how to handle the situation. Call me an adrenaline junkie or whatever, but seriously, just go wild! I mean, the point of going out on the water the first day is to get comfortable with being in your boat, learning how to feel for the wind and just putting one idea with another to sail away! All you really need to know about the dangers of sailing is: 1. turn towards trouble (direct your till towards the direction in which you want to avoid hitting) and 2. falling into the water isn't the end of the world; it's just water! The rest will fall into place and all the technical stuff will be learned with time and practice!

Ah, so sailing up and down the bay was a lot of fun. I even volunteered to be the person to demonstrate what capsizing looks like and how it happens (c'mon, you can't be surprised I'd do this!). Everyone else seemed to be afraid of getting wet which I didn't understand because sailing IS a WATER sport! My only regret for my first day on the water was that I didn't take my phone onto the boat with me to record some of this action! Needless to say, my instructor said that I capsized gracefully. ha!

Totally worth delaying my trip to San Francisco this weekend for the Nike Women's Marathon. Now to catch my plane to meet up with my family and friends to run 26.2 miles and hopefully a new PR for me! :)

Sailing: A New Adventure

2010-10-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

I LOVE being on the water, and I've always wanted to learn how to sail after seeing the Cornell Sailing Team out on Cayuga Lake during the summer of 2004. I never had time to learn at Cornell because I immersed myself with crew and dragonboating instead. Both activities took up a lot of my free time and when I moved back to CA, I tried to pick up dragonboating again to no avail. Rowing, on the other hand, I still love. I've been out at the marina every couple of weeks for the past couple of months, but nothing too steady. I just have no one to help train me and it's unfortunate that you can't really train yourself for a regatta when you row a single.

Trying to think of something new to try and learn, I thought about getting my SCUBA license. It's been on the "I want to do that, but have never gotten around to it" list since I was in 12! About time, right? Besides, there really are no excuses to stay away from the water since I live in Southern California where it's chronically sunny and 70-80s degrees practically everyday.

So... I looked online for some schools to get certified. However, I ended up wandering to the sailing sections while browsing the various certification websites. Verdict: I signed up for the track that leads to a U.S. Sailing Certification for Keelboat! Have you seen one of those boats? They're adorable and they look like a lot of fun!

My first class and training lesson is this Friday afternoon. I'm stoked! I hope the class doesn't go over time since I need to catch a plane to SF to run the Nike Women's Marathon over the weekend. I'm dreading it because I have not trained AT ALL! 26.2 miles of doom! Ahhh!

... I guess SCUBA takes the backseat yet again. Next time, SCUBA, next time...

Cycling: Santa Ana River Trail

2010-10-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

Check! I finally rode along the entire trail this afternoon. It was about 50 miles roundtrip and I tacked on another 10 miles just for kicks since the ride was a relatively fast and flat route. I made it in 4 hours exactly, which was really cool!

The reviews on this trail were quite accurate in terms of what to expect for scenery: 1. once you are in Santa Ana and riding along towards Fullerton, things get sketchy with lots of homeless people and druggies hanging out under the overpasses. 2. going alone probably isn't a good idea unless you go during a time when the trail has a lot of traffic from other cyclists and runners. 3. the trail is best going towards PCH and Huntington Beach. 4. it's a fast and flat ride (speeding!!!)

Here's the link if you want more information on the trail.

Cycling: 30 Miles - Hwy 1 Half Moon Bay

2010-10-04T03:14:00.001-07:00

I went on my most scenic cycling loop to date this past Sunday up in the Bay Area. Even the drive to San Gregorio was lovely, passing through Palo Alto, Portola Valley and small towns along the 84. Massive trees, peek-a-boo views of cities below and cyclists all around; it was definitely an overload for the senses.

My friend Chris and I got to San Gregorio State Park at around noon(parking $8, but "free" if you have an annual State Park Pass for $120 or seriously free if you are willing to park along Hwy 1). Clouds and overcast aside, the view of the Pacific was spectacular with the adorning cliffs and cypresses scattered all about the stretch of coastline. It was chilly (high 50s, low 60s), but we got our stuff together and were off.

We started with a cute little incline that killed any inkling of "chilly" that I initially felt. Not too shabby of a warm up, and the downhill coasting that came afterward was much appreciated. Next was the last of the "hills." At the top of this hill, Chris and I took a little break to take pictures and to enjoy the sweeping ocean views. We also discovered that the Ride 2 Recovery (450 mile ride from SF to LA) had just started over the weekend. I don't know about you, but if you want to feel inspired or even to just realize how amazing the human body is and what a strong mind can accomplish, seeing these wounded veterans would be nothing short of amazing; we saw a man ride up the very same hills we just started with, except he was pedaling with just his arms. Another veteran was riding with a prosthetic leg. It was very humbling to watch.

Continuing along the coast, we came upon a lighthouse! For someone who has a slight fascination for lighthouses, you can imagine how stoked I was. Turns out, it was Pigeon Point, the very first lighthouse I'd seen in CA back in 2008 when I was on a "discover CA" road trip with my brother to introduce Mike to the great state of CA during his first visit here. This time, however, it wasn't 10pm at night and I could see the lighthouse for all its beauty. A few pictures later, we pedaled off.

After about 13 miles, we hit Gazos Creek Road and took our first turn along our ride. The scene changed from picturesque coastline views to a forest-like backdrop. The gravel road was peaceful and we encountered very little traffic; the only "danger" we had to be cautious of was the loose gravel on the road. The surrounding vegetation was abundant and green. It was like heading into the countryside as we continued along and passed by small farms, creeks, gardens, pumpkin patches (WITH adorable pumpkins!!!) and a variety of farm animals (horses, cows, sheep, goat, chickens, etc). So quaint and peaceful.

We passed through the village of Pescadero. Its downtown did not span for more than a quarter mile but within its limits there was a country store, a bakery (holla!) and a "made in Pescadero" store that was housed in a barn. It seemed like the perfect place to escape for a weekend (fyi: they do have a B&B there). It also seemed like a great setting for a bomb Haunted House. So random, in the middle of "no where" and yet full of things to do if you have a creative mind!

Chris and I thought about taking a break and grabbing a bit to eat at Pescadero, but decided we'd fall into food coma afterwards, so instead we skipped on the rest stop and continued to bike. We passed through a farm and then the road swirled uphill. It looked more daunting than it really was; just some consistent pedaling did the job. The downhills were the best. Swishing and swooshing back and forth and having the wind blow against you... can we say, "awesome?!"

One more set of uphill swirls and we made it to La Honda Rd and were greeted with the local post office and a quirky looking general store. We didn't go inside (you had to take your cycling shoes off), but it looked like quite a store from the outside with the Halloween decorations and the partial views of the book-lined shelves and seemingly random merchandise for sale inside. Less than a mile later, we were back to our car.

We chilled for a bit and drove to the neighboring state park to dip our feet into the water (cold). The waves up here in NorCal are much bigger and more psychotic than the ones in SoCal. One would probably die from trying to surf, swim or do anything in these waters other than take in the view. The waves broke much further out and the massive rocks just made the waves look that much cooler!

I'd have to say that after this ride, I'm curious to see if I can ride from SF to SD someday. I can only imagine how much more of a "WOW!" factor that would be. It will take quite a bit of planning, so don't expect to see a blog entry on it anytime soon.

Here is a quick recap of the loop in case you're ever in the area and want to do a nice ride that takes about 2-3 hours:

Park at the corner of Hwy. 1 and Hwy. 84, about 10 miles south of Half Moon Bay. Ride about 13 miles south on Hwy. 1. Turn left onto Gazos Creek Rd. Go 2 miles and then make a left onto Cloverdale Rd. Follow this about 5.5 miles—going past the Butano State Park entrance. Make a left onto Pescadero Rd.—which takes you into Pescadero—and go .5 mile. In town, go right on Stage Rd. Follow this 7 miles to Hwy 84 (La Honda Rd.); go left and take this less than a mile to your car.

Cycling: 50 miles

2010-09-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

I am going to ride from my home to the Santa Ana River Trail (3mi) and out to Huntington Beach (6+mi) tomorrow morning, Sept 27, 2010. Then I will ride along PCH to Seal Beach Blvd (~10.5+mi)and back (~10.5+mi) to the end of the river trail. I will then meet with my friend to do a ~12+mi loop from the beach to where I initially started the river trail and head back to the beach. Then my friend will be done and I will have the ~9+mi ride back home before showering and heading to work. I will try to post pictures if I manage to take any of the sunrise tomorrow morning.

Overall, a little over 50 miles to ride tomorrow. I loaded up on food tonight since I really hate eating while I'm riding, but realize that I need the energy to fuel my ride.

Anyway, here is a picture of the sunset from my 12 mile trail run all over El Moro Canyon on Friday, September 24, 2010. It was taken as I was leaving the State Park after spending 3 hours going up and down hills. I did have to take some breaks, but I am proud that I ran the entire time I wasn't taking a pause!

Hiking: Mt. Si

2010-09-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

I made a trip to Seattle for the primary purpose of climbing Mt. Si and Little Si; I figured I'd explore the city as a secondary adventure. Thinking that I would get a late start since I was arriving at 9:46am, I decided to sport my hiking attire for my plane ride to Seattle; I wanted to save time and not have to change when I arrived in WA.

When I landed, my cousin Anh and her husband Klay picked me up and we were off to North Bend. Seeing Mt. Si for the first time from the highway gave me second thoughts about my excursion; I could not see the peak of the mountain because the clouds and fog covered it. It looked cold, daunting and intimidating. Didn't help that I was wearing just a pair of running shorts and my tank top running shirt-- I'm from CA where it's chronically 70-80 degrees and sunny, can you blame me? Luckily, I did have my long sleeve dri fit on me. Still, I felt unprepared. I mentally convinced myself that if it got too cold, I could just start running up the mountain to warm up.

I couldn't help but notice how green and lush the scenery was. Washington is like an explosion of pines and douglas firs! Best part was when I stepped out of the car at the trailhead: I smiled and exclaimed "It smells like Christmas!" It really does too!

Very different hiking terrain here. Instead of dry and desert-like climate, it was humid and wet. I felt like I was on that floating "Avatar country" and started to hope that blue people and crazy fairies would pop out and amuse me. Then thoughts of Fern Gully started to take over my imagination. Meanwhile, in reality, I was sweating buckets and my heart was racing. This hike was what I had expected of Mt. Gorgonio: endless switchbacks the ENTIRE way.

Most brutal hike to date. The CA mountain excursions failed in comparison. These four miles were just painful; I averaged about 20-30 minutes a mile! Pathetic. In its defense, this hike turned out to be the most rewarding in terms of the scenery at the top. Initially, however, I was disappointed because when I arrived at the top, the fog covered the view. I almost turned around and headed back down because I took in what I saw (hardly anything) and was ready to move on. Luckily, a nice lady who was eating her lunch at the top started talking to me and prolonged my descent from the mountain top.

After the brief conversation, I turned around and the view was completely different from what I initially saw; the fog rolled over and I was amazed. Thinking the view couldn't get any better, I scrambled up on the rocks and was greeted to a fantastic panoramic view of Washington. I saw the Bellevue skyline in the distance as well as the Seattle skyline and Puget Sound. Glorious. And, according to the three sorority-ish chicks that were standing next to me, I was also able to get a clear view of the outlet mall that currently had great deals on boots and tank tops and the golf course with the "hottest golfers in town". Critical tourist information.

I took advantage of the chicks and asked them to take a couple of pictures of me since I was still in awe that I was literally above the clouds looking down on Washington and all it had to offer. The girl I gave my camera to didn't really know how to use my crappy point and shoot so she ended up taking a bunch of random photos: some with me in the them and some with parts of me in them.

I ended up summiting a little earlier than Klay and Anh so I killed some time at the top just taking it all in. Klay radio-ed to me and told me that I could get on the internet with my phone (I'm loving this Droid more and more every day)! So, I wasted a good hour checking news headlines and going on Facebook. I started heading down and found Klay and Anh at mile 3.5 and decided to climb back up with them. Overall, we climbed a total of 8-9 miles rt. The peak was a little over 4,000 ft with a starting elevation 700. I'm so glad I got Anh and Klay to come with me. Best part was that they didn't kill me for convincing them to go! :)

I didn't quite make my goal of climbing both Mt. Si and Little Si. Being the klutz that I am, I tripped over a tree root jogging down and busted my ankle pretty badly. It's swollen quite a bit this morning and I had to exert a lot of self-control to keep myself from going out for my morning run at 630am today. :( Nevertheless, I do plan to climb Little Si tomorrow... sprained ankle or not. (Note: update 9/21: didn't climb Little Si and tried to do Blanca Lake but intense rain prematurely ended that hike).

Off to get ready for breakfast and the baseball game. ...I have yet to visit the needle spaceship alien thing and to visit Pike's something or another. I still haven't gotten my donut or seen Mr. Ersid either.

So much to do before I leave on Tuesday!

Run: Back Bay

2010-08-29T15:12:00.001-07:00

I used to go to Balboa Island almost every weekend with Mike to get cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning either before or after mass. We'd get off the 73 on Jamboree and on our way to Balboa Island, we would pass an ecological reserve.

There were always people walking around this reserve each time we drove by and lots of cyclists flying around it. Each time we passed this reserve, I reminded myself that at some point, I had to run or bike the trail. The road biking kept getting pushed off because Mike was always injured and the running just didn't happen... well, because it didn't.

This morning, tired of the gym, shoulders sore from rowing and grossed out by all the dirt and sand from yesterday's run in El Moro Canyon, I decided to head to Turtle Rock in Irvine for a hill run on clean pavement. Never quite made it to Turtle Rock and ended up detouring to the ecological reserve. I parked my car right next to the Marriott off Jamboree and just started running with no idea where the route would lead me.

I just ran.

I figured that the trail I was following would loop me around the bay (and probably does), but once I got to PCH just before the hill down to Balboa Island, I turned around.

It was a pretty run. I ran alongside the bay and saw a couple of rowers from NAC, which is the boathouse in Newport (I almost joined this club when I first started looking for a boathouse to call home, but after meeting the people there, I thought Long Beach's boathouse fit my laid-back personality a little better). I saw many species of birds and surprisingly could identify quite a few of them! I was impressed with myself and was reminded of my "ornithology days" when I was living in Carmel with bird enthusiasts for a summer. I also identified some trees, among them some coastal cypress which happen to be among my favorites. The run didn't seem too long when I was running, but that was because the cliffs and bluffs hid the winding parts of the trail that I didn't pay much attention to until I turned around and saw how far I had really gone! Needless to say, my run back wasn't bad. It was quick and easy, mostly because I was contemplating if I should give Balboa Island a visit when I got back to my car.

I haven't been to Balboa Island since I stopped spending time with Mike. I wasn't sure if I was up for going back, which meant that I was going to force myself to go. I drove in and parked my car in front of Hershey Market. I was a little hungry and although I'm trying to watch what I eat, I stopped by Cinnamon Roll Fair anyway. The owner greeted me with "It's been a while since you've visited!" She also asked me where my friend was, to which I politely said I was just here alone today. I took my cinnamon roll and walked around the island perimeter like we used to. It was interesting to see the changes to people's landscapes and outdoor decor. The crowds have also died down a bit since my last visit, probably because summer is coming to a close and kids are back in school. I smiled after my walk was over and I hopped back into my car. This place still invokes "good" feelings inside of me. Eventually I won't associate this place with Mike. So far, so good.

Anyway, next time I think I will take Bob, my road bike, and see how long the Back Bay Loop trail is from start to finish. My guess is that it's pretty long, which is fine when going on a bike prepared for some distance and not so much when I'm running without any water handy and on an overused knee!

Yet a newly discovered trail to further explore in the future!

Row: Sculling at Sunset

2010-08-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

I went to the Long Beach Marina late this afternoon after a 4-5 year hiatus and talked to the manager there (same guy as when I was last there!) about rejoining the rowing association (LBRA). I was surprised he remembered me after all these years. I was even more surprised that he suggested I take a boat out to "get reacquainted with the water..."

What a TREAT! It was spectacular! To carry a boat out, grab some blades and push off the dock- I felt so alive just being on the water!

It was about 4 or 5pm when I left the dock so not many people or boats were out. The water was glassy and serene (my favorite). I almost felt guilty for dropping my blades into the water because I was disturbing the tranquil water with each ripple from my stroke. I took my grand time rowing around the marina, enjoying the views and the simple fact that I was rowing again. ...This launch was definitely not a workout! I must have looked like a complete idiot smiling and enjoying each clean catch and complete drive I made. Simply amazing!

Remembering what used to make me happy (and still makes me really happy) is GREAT! I made the mistake of giving some of these hobbies and I'm learning what I can live without and what I don't want to live without (if I can help it!).

I've always wanted to compete in the Head of the Charles. I've joked that I will enter the regatta when I'm 50. I'm starting to think that perhaps I can do this sooner! ;)

Update: My knee and stuff

2010-08-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

I went to see the doctor early this morning for my annual physical exam and some routine blood work. As usual, nothing was physically wrong with me (so they say...) except for my right knee which has been bothering me. My doctor said I probably tore something from running everyday-- I'm stressed, what can I say? Go figure. Now I have to see an ortho specialist who will probably tell me I need to "take it easy".

Yeah, when a doctor, much less anyone else for that matter, says "don't run" I say, "ok" and then in my mind I figure that means I should sprint instead. Sprinting doesn't seem to bring about any pain! Or maybe it's because I am more concerned about gasping for air to really feel any pain in my knee?

Anyway, my doctor's last bit of advice to me before my exam was over: "You know those people who live to be 90 and older? The secret is walking, not running." "Try hiking." Funny, I actually just picked that up.. the whole (mountain) hiking crap.

Well, I'm going to try to be good, so I won't have any hiking posts until September when I go to Seattle.

It's ok, I will return. Don't miss me too much!

Now to take care of this last thing on the agenda for the past year and I'm free! Surprisingly, I'm very calm about it.

Hike: Malibu Creek SP

2010-08-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

I headed out to Calabasas this weekend for a morning hike with a friend and her family, some of whom I hadn't seen in years! No running was involved, and I resisted any urge to climb up any inclines; my knees are freakin' killing me.

I did, however, carry a 6 month old baby during the 4+ mile hike. Surprisingly, I did get a little bit of a workout with Felicity dangling in front of me in her carrier. The added weight definitely took some getting used to, but it wasn't anything overbearing. I figured that this must be how women with ridiculous boob implants feel when they walk around on a daily basis! Ok, maybe not?

Anyway, the hike was nice and if you ever get a chance to go out there, bring a swim suit because the water pools out there are very clean and pretty! Bring a camera too because the SP was once the site of the Fox Ranch and the tv show M*A*S*H was filmed on the grounds; there are some old remnants of the set still there! According to the ever-so-reliable and trusted Wikipedia, former President Reagan and Bob Hope once own parts of the land as well.

It was a little too crowded at times because there were many families and young people coming for a Saturday swim. I think if you wanted to really do a hike hike, picking a little more difficult route than the M*A*S*H trail or any trail to the swimming spots would be more ideal in terms of avoiding crowds (and getting a challenging workout). For me, this relaxing hike with friends was just what I needed to clear my mind from end-of-the-week-stresses. I had fun and even saw my first rattlesnake! I always thought the rattling sound would be more pronounced and intimidating but it just sounds like those shakers that people use at luaus.

I'll probably come back to this place on my own at some point to do some exploring. Though, I'll be a little more cautious of my attire and what gear to bring since I've heard a lot of poisonous and crazy wildlife are active here. Of course, it's nothing my new can of bear mace can't handle: it has a 30 ft shooting range! Holla!

Hike: Mt. Si and Little Si

2010-08-13T00:11:00.000-07:00

My cousin's husband, whom I've never met in person but have talked to on the phone and through email here and there, sent me a facebook message tonight saying "You're a hiking nut". I laughed and then proceeded to explain that my hiking was only a temporary thing I pursued to clear my mind and kill time. I also mentioned that I had just retired from hiking earlier this week after Mt. Gorgonio. Still, I made the mistake of asking him if there were any mountains near his home worth climbing. He first suggested Mt. Rainier, but then said that it required "crampons and stuff". Given that I've been hiking with my ghetto Timberland backpack that I have used as a book bag since freshman year of high school all the way until I finished graduate school, I felt a little ill-equipped for the challenge. That and I have no idea what crampons are except that they rhyme with "tampon" and..... nevermind.

Klay, my cousin's husband, then suggested Mt. Si and I quickly looked it up on Google. I saw the trail to the summit of Mt. Si and to the neighboring Little Si and said to myself, "Ehh, this looks doable, why not?" So, on a whim (kind of anyway; I've been wanting and planning to go to Seattle for some time now to complete my visits to all the major US cities), I booked tickets to Seattle for the end of September to climb Mt. Si and Little Si. My goal is to climb both in a day. Now that's a new challenge: two mountains in one day!

I'm excited to see Seattle too! I had planned to go there at some point this year--this summer, actually- but the timing never quite worked out because I had to work with not only my schedule but with another person's schedule too (go ahead, take wild guess who I wanted to make this trip with). Anyway, the opportunity presented itself and now I'm scheduled to fly out of Orange County to Seattle late September. I'm sure my knee will have healed by then since I don't plan to climb any mountains between now and September; I have to focus on all of my educational obligations between now and then without distractions from anything else (God-willing).

...So much for retiring after this Tuesday's hike, right? (I knew this was going to happen and you probably did too!). Now I will study and work in anticipation of finally getting to visit Seattle, climbing mountains and eating copious amounts of the infamous Top Pot donuts!

Thinking: Challenges, Growth and Satisfaction

2010-08-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

When everything seemed to have turned upside down in my life after July 14, I didn't exactly know what to do. For someone who has always been a planner, I just knew I had to do something instead of nothing. I scrambled to find anything remotely positive to fixate my mind on. I had no idea if any of the things I was doing to keep busy would really help me, but I went ahead and did them anyway with the hope that maybe something might help. I created a plan and a schedule and I executed it.

I had never been so sad and hurt in my life. I loved this person more than anyone (even myself, which I now realize wasn't the best thing), and I wanted nothing more than for this person to be happy and to help make him happy. Though I wanted to have my feelings, affection and love to be reciprocated, they weren't. And with a little time, I've come to realize that this is what has made me so upset; without getting into the details, this person hurt me and I was angry that he didn't realize and/or admit that he hurt me. He did not seem to have any regard for my feelings either. Rather, he got upset at me for how I was reacting to a situation and for how "melodramatic" I was being. He told me I was being stressful to him. How I felt when I heard that... let me tell you... I would never wish for anyone to experience such an awful feeling.

Unlike this other person, I chose not to ignore the fact and the reasons why our close friendship was falling apart. While my friend told me that he hoped all of this would go away in a couple of months and that everything would go back to being the same as before July 14, I chose not to be in denial and wishfully think that the situation would just disappear/be fixed if I ignored it. Instead, I accepted (though hated) all of the emotions that came with this realization, and I dealt with them as best I could. It was probably one of the hardest--if not the hardest-- thing that I have had to endure in my short 25 years of life so far. I guess you might even say I'm still dealing with it now, but it has been getting easier with each passing day.

On Tuesday while I was hiking the last half mile to the summit on my own, I was thinking: it has been almost 4 hours in, I'm getting tired, and my legs just want to take a break. But, as I was steps away from reaching the summit, I realized that when I reach that level 10 (on the perceived exertion scale from 1-10)...when I've really got to push it... that is the time for me to start walking faster and charge forward with energy and drive.In short, it's the time when I need to be-- and quickly become- focused. For me, strength comes from doing something I felt I couldn't do. Many people go to the gym and lift weights they know they can handle (I've been guilty of that), or take the same group classes etc., but my rule of thumb when it comes to achieving is: "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. In order to grow you must be challenged. There is no other way." This way of thinking is very different from what I imagine our human bodies would like us to do; as humans, I think we try to find a place of comfort. We enjoy sitting vs. running, living at home vs. in a foreign country, getting a steady paycheck vs. an unpredictable (or no) paycheck: as humans we like stability and predictability. But the flip side is that as humans, I think we also like (and need) to be challenged.

Most of us like progressing and feeling like we take part in a larger process, which is why many of us tend to desire things we don't have. While I don't usually admit it, I know inside that I've achieved many personal goals/desires in the past 25 years. 99% of the time, however, I have been scared beyond belief about committing myself to a new endeavor. More often than not, I knew that a long-term goal was out of reach, but in order to build my confidence, I created an action plan that included a set of short term goals that was achievable. When I finished a hard workout, or an analysis for a project, or put in the time for my studies...I knew that while my goals were not yet realized, my actions were bringing me two steps closer to realizing them. I was on the right track... or so I believe!

To this day, I still don't know where I get that ability to just take a leap of faith and go headstrong into a new endeavor. I've always been (and still am) very shy and apprehensive. I may seem calm or quiet to many, but inside, my mind is constantly working: worrying/freaking out, planning and organizing all of my feelings, analyzing every thought and action! I've been working on "taking it easy" but it's still takes quite a bit of effort for me to really "relax".

Reaching the top of the highest peak in Southern California on Tuesday proves that things you thought you couldn't do can be done. I have always hated hiking up hills, much less mountains. But I do it because I hate it. While you should excel in areas you are strong, you should also build on areas where you are weak. Understanding yourself: your strengths, weaknesses, dreams and passions is what creates a fulfilling and wonderful existence!

After all that has happened these past few weeks, I am finally at peace with myself. I can focus on my usual activities without feeling miserable or distracted once more. I think a lot of it has to do with my brother coming home for short visit; I didn't realize it initially, but spending time with him in the car running errands for my parents and just "hanging out" helped me find that silliness I used to have 3 weeks ago. I was laughing, smiling and just singing and saying silly nonsense. I felt "normal" again.

Even if it's only temporary, I'm going to enjoy it and be as productive as I can be, being thankful for each day that I do have clarity of thought and a sense of happiness within. I realize it has only been two days since I've felt this way, but I'm doing so much better now than I have been for the past 3 weeks!

Now to move forward and make progress... to continually better myself, to grow and to learn.

Thank you to all who have been sending me positive vibes and words of encouragement these past few weeks! I deeply appreciate it. :)

Hike: My Knee!

2010-08-11T00:50:00.001-07:00

Ok, I know you're going to tell me that I had this coming, but my right knee is starting to give me some discomfort. I've felt this pain before and it's because I've overused my legs. Boo!

I noticed a little pain in my right knee while walking back to my car after my climb up San Jacinto last Thursday. I rested Friday-Sunday, meaning that I went swimming and upper body weight lifting instead. On Monday, I had to run because I was feeling crappy and really, really needed to "run it out." I managed to jog 4 miles and forced myself to call it quits despite wanting to run further. I guess it didn't help that I climbed Mt. Gorgonio today/yesterday (it's a little after midnight as I'm typing this) either!

Anyway, my point is that I'm going to take a break from my mountain climbing and just hike easier paths and trails in the meantime. This weekend, I will be going out to Malibu for a hike with my good friend Carrie and her family. My goal for the rest of this week and next week is to avoid walking down steep inclines and running. We'll see what happens!

My guess is that I'll be restless by Friday and have to do something. Perhaps it's time I stop neglecting my road bike, affectionately named Bob, and take him out for a ride along the coast or the entire Santa Ana River Trail that I have yet to complete.

Oh the possibilities!

Hike: Mt. Gorgonio

2010-08-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

summary: WOW!

I decided to attempt the last of my mountains on my list to climb in Southern California as soon as possible so that I could earn the rights to say "I climbed all three of the saints of Southern California in less than two weeks." That and mostly because I wasn't feeling so great and I needed to go out and do something about it.

I managed to get a permit for a day hike on the Vivian Creek Trail for both August 10 and August 11 because I wasn't sure which day I was going to go exactly. I invited my brother along since he came home to visit my parents for the week. Surprisingly, he agreed to join me!

Knowing that the Vivian Creek Trail was rated a 10/10 for level of difficulty in many of the trail guides online and in my hiking book, I took it to heart when all recommended to start early because the hike would take a total of 7.5-10 hours.

As a bit of side information, the Vivian Creek Trail is the shortest and the steepest route to the summit of Mt. San Gorgonio and probably the only reasonable one to do as a one day hike. The total length of the hike is approximately 16 miles round trip with a 5,600 foot elevation gain. According to localhikes.com, "This trail is a monster, definitely one of the most demanding in Southern California. You gain nearly a vertical mile in less than 8 miles distance. On the way up, you will encounter no more than 400 yards of downhill, and around the same amount for flat trail. It is up the entire way, and most of that way is steep." The website goes on to say that the way down is "easy pickins'" but I beg to differ!

Anyhoo... both my brother and I left the house a little after 6am and headed to San Bernardino. We would've made really great time and started before 8am had a big rig not flipped over and spilled oil on the 60-215 interchange in Riverside. The delay pushed us back quite a bit and it was definitely not cool.

We started our hike mid/late morning and after crossing the creek and finally getting to the start of the trail, I wanted to die looking ahead (or should I say, up!). Turns out that the steepest part of the trail is the first mile. My oh my was it steep. Endless and merciless switchbacks; there are 96 total switchbacks on the entire Vivian Creek Trail going one way. My brother was cursing during the start of the first few switchbacks when he still had the energy, and I was starting to have doubts in my mind that we would be able to make it to the top if this was how the entire hike would be! Thankfully, we pushed onward and arrived at a meadow area after about 25 minutes of switchbacks. The trail through the meadow seemed flat (well, I guess anything seemed flat compared to the first set of switchbacks) but it wasn't: more inclines! We grabbed some food to munch on to keep us going and trekked along. Passed by two senior Asian couples who were on their way down. They said they were just having a morning walk around and wished us luck on our journey to the top by repeatedly saying that it was 16 miles all the way around (thanks for the reminder!). After we moved on ahead, I spent a good five minutes wondering if they had taken the same switchbacks we just finished as part of their "morning walk" because they were so happy, not sweaty and... perky!

Continuing along, we enjoyed the views of the forest, admiring the giant sequoias, redwoods and pines. Here and there we captured glimpses of San Bernardino under the shotty layers of air that settled above the towns and cities below. We walked through a patch of wildflowers which was stunning... until we noticed all the bees swarming around and the bugs flying all over the place. Ugh! We crossed over the creek and then came the next set of switchbacks. Actually, the switchbacks kept going from this point until about 1/2 mile to the top of San Gorgonio. We also had to climb over some really big fallen trees along the way too! It was brutal. I went through three times as much water going up to the peak of San Gorgonio than I did when going to San Antonio/Mt. Baldy and San Jacinto. I also had to constantly grab food to keep my energy going. It was intense!

We were only 1/2 mile from the summit when my brother shouted out to me that he was done. His legs were cramped and he was tired. We could see the summit to the right of us (or what we thought was the summit; turns out it was a little ways behind we were looking at) but he couldn't do it. I was sad because he was such a trooper to come out and do this with me and was so very close to the top! But, I understood his concerns about wanting to survive and make it down the mountain in one piece, so I told him I'd hike as quickly as I could to the top, take pictures and turn around ASAP.

On my way to the top, a group of 2 girls and 2 guys stopped me and said, "Hey! Weren't you on San Jacinto last week?" Surprised, I nodded and said that I had been. I asked them how they knew and one of the girls said that she remembered I was wearing a marathon shirt with a cow on it and today I was also wearing a (different) marathon shirt. We chatted for a few minutes and turns out the group of friends were training to climb Mt. Whitney at the end of August. I would've said "So am I!" but after this trip, I think I'm going to hold off on Mt. Whitney until next year! Not to mention, my right knee was starting to bother me. :(

I continued along and made it to the top in 3 hours and 50 minutes. I was a bit disappointed that there was no cool sign to mark the summit like Mt. Baldy or San Jacinto; just a box with pens and a notebook for you to sign in at. I signed my name and my brother's and dated it. There was a guy up there chilling and eating a can of sardines and I asked him to take a quick picture of me. Afterwards, I took some pictures of the views, which included a clear view of San Jacinto (dang, that thing is tall!), Lake Arrowhead, San Gorgonio Pass (think wind farm!) and Palm Springs! Supposedly one can see Mexico and the ocean from the peak, but a.) I don't know what Mexico looks like to even know how to identify it b.) the air quality towards the distant west is not so great and the visibility is not so clear.

Heading back, I found my brother resting with his back to a rock and his feet stretched out in front of him. I thought he was just chilling, but it turns out he was napping! I felt bad, but I woke him up and we started heading down.

Usually the hike down is much much faster for me. Easier too. This one, not so much. Although my heart rate wasn't as high as it was climbing up, it was beating pretty fast! All of the switchbacks and the rocks on the trail made it all the more challenging to descend the mountain. I tripped once and got a couple of cuts on my knee. My first hiking injury! Though, as my 5th grade teacher would say, "It's too far away from the heart to really worry about!" So, I cleaned the cuts with an alcohol pad (OUCH!!), put on some band-aids and viola: wound no more!

Anyway, both me and my brother couldn't believe how long the hike down was. Most of the time, we didn't even recall climbing up parts of the trail that we were now walking down! It was very long and exhausting! Finally after 6 hours, 55 minutes and 24 seconds without any breaks (with breaks it was about 8-8.5 hours), we finished at 6:24pm! The sun was still shining, thankfully; I was worried that with our late start we wouldn't make it back before sunset. Whew!

This was by far the most physically challenging activity I've done. It's worse than running a marathon or even 4 half marathons in 4 weeks. I'm not kidding! This hike also made me rethink my 22 mile hike to the top of Mt. Whitney that I wanted to do in a single day sometime in August; I'm going to hold off until next year because I can't afford the time off to do a multi-day hike in August this year, and any time after August, the weather at Mt. Whitney becomes a bit dangerous with the storm season (and snow season) starting.

Nevertheless, this hike did clear my head once and for all (or so I think at the moment). No sad feelings and no crying this time around, unlike the previous two summit climbs. I felt great, clear and ready to tackle whatever is coming my way! Of course, I was also feeling tired and couldn't wait to get back to my place to take a shower and rest!

I needed this hike. This was exactly what I was looking for when I set out on this journey: an opportunity to be in a situation where the thought of giving up crossed my mind while I was simultaneously being challenged physically to keep moving forward. Today, I was given the chance to force my mind and my body to overcome hardship and to come out successful. I had given myself until the end of August on my birthday to complete these three peaks, but true to form, I've finished ahead of schedule. :)

All in all, I'm happy I made it! I've done it! I've conquered my hatred for walking up hills/mountains/inclines. I have to admit, climbing really tall mountains wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I guess when I don't whine and act grumpy like I used to when I had to climb any hills or mountains, I actually find something rewarding and satisfying about it. I'll even go so far as to say that maybe.... I actually enjoy hiking up really tall mountains for the scenery, the peacefulness and the challenge it gives me both mentally and physically to make it to the top!

I guess I can't dislike walking/climbing uphills and mountains if I plan to ascend Mt. Whitney next year! :)

Reading: C.S. Lewis

2010-08-07T15:09:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I've been reading more than I ever have lately. I'm afraid that the people around me might start thinking that I'm edumacated and that I know something. Yikes!

I started reading books by C.S. Lewis upon encouragement from a friend who has always challenged me look within myself and really determine if I am living my life not the way I want, but the way God wants. I've successfully avoided answering this question for some years now even though the thoughts have frequently crossed my mind, no matter how hard I try to ignore it. It's a difficult thing to really "peel back the layers" as another friend told me in a different context, but I'm finally going to attempt to start. This process doesn't really have a finish line of sorts, so it's going to be a long journey.

So far, I've quickly read through "The Four Loves." My, my that is a dense book. Or maybe not and I'm just not used to this kind of reading? I think it's probably both. My quick read was really just to find some sort of temporary fix to my short-term problems. With time, I will go back and read the book more thoughtfully and with a clearer and more open mind.

I've also made a stab at "The Problem of Pain," mostly because I've always wanted to come up with a more thoughtful answer to the question "If God is so kind and loving, why does he let us get hurt or suffer?" I've never really had this issue with God and have been content knowing that there is a reason for it; that we are meant to grow and learn from things. Beyond that though, I've never really, really thought about it. No better time than now, right?

Anyway, if you've read or plan to skim/read these books, let's talk!

Hike: Mt. San Jacinto

2010-08-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 645am this morning and knew that I could rectify my laziness from yesterday by climbing San Jacinto today. Reluctantly, I filled up my water bottles and tossed some snacks into my backpack. I was on the road a little before 8am.

It took me about an hour to get to Palm Springs and ten more minutes to get to the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway, which would take me to San Jacinto State Park. I was already feeling guilty because I couldn't do the Catcus to Clouds hike (not an official trail according to the state and national park folks and dangerous, particularly on my own). Nevertheless, I got over my pride for not starting my hike from <1000ft elevation.

The first tram left at 10am and I was on it! While waiting in line to board, I took note of all the people getting on with me. One was a big group of 21 young boys who looked like they were on a field trip. Then there were a group of 4 or 5 men around my age or early 30s at most who were just macho talking about how they were going to make it to the summit first and how they just knew everything about the trails. blah blah blah.

I counted a total of 5 women among 50+ people. Two of them were in dresses, so my guess was that they were going to hang out in the lodge that flanks the entrance of San Jacinto State Park. Or maybe they were going to hike, who knows? All I knew was that I felt like I was back in Berkeley sitting in an upper division math course again.

Anyway, I finally got to the park entrance and tried to speed walk as fast as I could to the ranger station to get my day hike permit; I wanted to get away from the crowds. I caught up to the only two people ahead of me and ended up starting my hike with them. They were nice people, though I was on guard being on my own. The lady, Pena, who wanted to hike with me to the summit but was afraid she couldn't keep up, was telling me all about her life! It was impressive. For the past ten years, she has lived in Palm Springs working the night shift at some company. She gets home and heads out for a hike or something outdoorsy for a few hours, then goes home, takes a nap, and goes to work. Repeat. Her friend, Mark, did the same thing. Only he was a little creepy and a bit introverted. When I heard him comment to me, "You never know what kind of people you meet out here. You got to be careful," and proceeded to detail disturbing things that could go wrong when hiking alone, I instinctively felt for my knives (I carry two). I didn't have any plans or desires to gouge anyone's eyes out, but you know, I would if I had to!

Freaky.

I ended up walking ahead of Pena and Mark. As much as I wanted to climb to the top with someone (vs. being alone), I felt uncomfortable with them. That and my pace was a little faster. So, when the group of high school boys and their guide passed us up, I said I was going to walk on, smiled and moved along.

The hike was gorgeous! I was really surprised at how beautiful it was at San Jacinto State Park. I would put it on par with Yosemite. Really! I think it might even one-up Yosemite because starting from where the tram takes you up to the park, you get to see five distinct vegetation zones that is botanical equivalent of driving from Mexico to Canada! As for my hike, right before the reaching the summit, you have to climb over some boulders, which scared me a bit because I'm terrible with balance... and even worse on an incline! Not to mention my fear of heights...

I made it up though. It took me 1 hour and 51 mins. A lot more time than I thought, but that's what I got for socializing on the trail and meeting people. But, I was nice to meet people, so I had fun. The time wasn't that big of a deal.

This hike was a lot easier than Mt. Baldy to be honest. I think it's because I didn't really walk up as much in elevation this time around (at most, maybe 2800ft this time). I got my pictures at the top. I could've been the first person to summit the mountain from the group that took the first tram up in the morning, but I couldn't quite pass the group of 21 boys, who turned out to be a group of 15 year olds from a Moreno Valley church going on a team building expedition. Ah well, at least I was the first girl up there for the day! (FYI: I really had no intention of being first, fastest, etc. I just thought it was cool when I realized I had the possibility of doing so half way into my hike).

I made it back down (10.2 miles rt) and finished my hike in 3 hrs and 51 minutes, including my 15 minutes up at the top taking pictures and just looking around. I got stopped twice on my way down because people saw that I was wearing a shirt that said "Cowtown" and they asked about it; it's my marathon shirt that I got from running a half marathon (out of 4 that I did within 4 weeks last October) in Sacramento. I love how some of the folks didn't know about Sacramento, being that its their state's capital!

I was hoping to drive back within the same amount of time it took me to get to Palm Springs (~1hr 15 mins). Because of that, I resisted the urge to stop at the Cabazon Outlets to browse the Burberry Outlet (oh it was hard not to stop!). Turns out I should've just make the detour because a major accident on the 60W headed back to my area caused an hour and a half delay where I was sitting in my car with the windows rolled down and the temperature outside registering in at 107 degrees F. I moved half a mile within 1 hour. It was pathetic. Had I not been sandwiched between two hills and been able to turn around, I would've spent my time ooo-ing and awww-ing at the Burberry stuff instead. Darn.

When I got home, I met up with a friend to run a mile around the park. I realized that my right knee was starting to bother me, so I'm going to take it easy for the next couple of days. Easy, of course, meaning lap swimming at the gym for a mile!

August 11: San Gorgonio via Vivian Creek Trail. And then, if I manage to get a permit, Mt. Whitney after August 20 and before my birthday!

Crazy: Skydiving

2010-08-04T14:56:00.001-07:00

This morning my friend Lucy texted me to ask when I was flying out of Boston in September. I emailed her my flight information and shortly afterwards I received this text:

Lucy: Question. How do you feel about skydiving? Any plans to do it in your lifetime?

After texting back and forth for a little while, I am announcing with great fear that I will be skydiving on Sept 12, 2010 in Vermont because "the views in the middle of MA would suck."

Hike: Too Lazy

2010-08-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

My goal last night was to wake up and head out to Palm Springs to climb San Jacinto today, but I ended up sleeping in. I wanted to finish this climb on a week day--instead of my August 7 date--to avoid the weekend crowds. BUT... here are my excuses:

1. The trams start running at 10am so it's already hot by the time I start my hike in the desert! (whine)
2. My lower body is still sore from my weight lifting session on Monday. It probably doesn't help that I haven't given my body any breaks for a while. (more whining)

"Woe is me, right?"

Anyway, I'm on for this weekend to finish San Jacinto as previously planned. Hopefully no storms will come and I will be able to get out there. The trams run earlier during the weekend (8am start), so it should be cooler. I hope I can beat the crowds though!

Thinking: Reflecting After Time

2010-08-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

Since my first entry was written in this "adventure blog," I have made progress towards feeling better.

I still wonder if I ever mattered. More importantly, I struggle to understand how I can be so devastated after a friendship of over five years ended while the other person involved in this friendship carries on with life as if nothing happened. It doesn’t seem to bother this person that after more than five years of talking on a daily basis and seeing each other so frequently, we are no longer friends. How is that possible? I just don’t understand. I get that life goes on, but seriously, not even a flinch during this whole ordeal?

No emotion. No reaction. Nothing!

I have forced myself to come to terms with the fact that I won’t ever get an answer from Mike as I’m quite certain he will not make any effort to contact me down the road. I admit that it would be nice if he did, but I'm not holding my breath! It’s the most awful feeling to think that you can be erased and replaced so quickly without a warning.

I wish I could continue my life as easily and without any struggle these past two weeks. But, wishing solves nothing, and so I have looked inward to find some comfort.

I have purposely created new challenges for myself as a way of finding some sense of peace while learning more about myself. Last week, I climbed a mountain, something I have dreaded all my life because I struggle with walking up inclines and feeling out of breath. I’ve also started reading books again after 10+ years of not submersing myself in anything but academic books and articles. The "reading for pleasure" started with a silly book about men that was given to me as a gift and has progressed into me choosing my own books to read (with some suggestions from a high school friend): “The Four Loves” and “The Problem of Pain,” the latter of which was more out of curiosity than actually questioning why God supposedly makes people suffer if He’s so loving. Both books are by C.S. Lewis.

I also decided to stop baking sweets/desserts so much; it feels so typical and not unique! Instead, I have shifted gears to artisan breads. They’re a little harder and more complicated than I thought, but you know, practice makes better. So check your mailboxes; I’m sending these "loaves of joy" to friends as a surprise "thinking of you" gift (suggestions for bread flavors are always appreciated!). Disclaimer: They might taste nasty, but you know, it was nasty bread made from the heart!

Other than the mountains, leisure reading and bread making, I’ve picked up an annual membership to the local shooting range. Currently, I’m learning all about the ins and outs of shotguns and rifles in anticipation of buying my own gun for the first time! Bang Bang Bang!

If it’s not obvious by now, I am a goal-oriented person. I constantly ask myself whether something is either for or against my long term goals…I analyze this concept with the relationships I form, the books I read, the activities I partake in and the time I spend doing most anything. Here and there I can seem spontaneous, but there’s always some thought in the back of my mind ahead of time. I am a planner!

I firmly believe that who we are is an accumulation of what we continually do. There is truth to the saying "Our habits define who we are." If you constantly overcome adversity you are a winner. If you constantly save people you are a hero. If you constantly educate people you are a teacher. And if you constantly live your life with God first, you are probably a saint of sorts!

There are things we want to achieve in this life: symbols we want to represent. But in order to truly own the "symbol" you have to manifest the symbol you want to embody by creating consistent, physical actions that support it.

When people ask me for advice about how to exercise and train for a marathon or race, be a "day trader" or how to be a statistician, I always tell them that they can be whatever they want to be. The big question is: Do you have what it takes to "become" who you want to be? Do you have the discipline, determination and drive to truly develop into the "symbol" you want to signify? Anyone has the power to achieve any endeavor if they have the commitment to define and refine the behavior of the "thing" they want to become.

People who know me, know that I value my life and that I especially value what I put into my life. Why? ...Because whatever is in my life, becomes a part of me. I think it's funny when people try to separate their job and their life...or their family and their life...or their health and their life: because all those components define your life! My time spent working and studying, for example, make up about 50% of my time in my life. If I didn't like my job or what the rewards of studying would bring, in essence, I wouldn’t like my life.

I think it's so important to critically look at everything present in your life and ask yourself if it aligns with who you are...or even more importantly, does it align with who you think you are or can become?

Lately people have been pushing and asking me when I will start dating again. They believe that I will heal faster the sooner I start dating again. My reply has always been "Why should I?" Sure, dating new people would make me temporarily feel better because I would be distracted, but that doesn’t solve my problem of learning how to make myself happy.

I don’t find the need or the see the point in dating a lot of people. My answer to the dating question people pose is "I don’t want to date anytime soon." I believe that figuring out what I want in/from my next relationship and being certain about what I want is time better spent. I’m not looking for a replacement for my ex or someone to fill the void I have from being alone. I am also not looking for a distraction from the "challenges" and hardships I'm currently dealing with in my life. I am looking for someone who will share in my happiness. But in order for me to find that person, I need to be happy with myself first... to feel like I'm the best person that I can be and be satisfied with myself and where I am in life.

Figuring out your purpose...your mission...your reasons 'why' you do something, is an important element in creating a more authentic and meaningful existence. Doing anything in life without a goal or purpose, whether it be working, being in a relationship, working out… is very difficult if you don't have clear set goals as to why your even partaking in that action in your life....I think it's important to set goals, dream high and live a life of purpose....because when you define 'why' you want to achieve something, then you've created the passion it's going to take to get you there.

Feeling uncomfortable and facing challenges is not a bad thing. Of course I don’t enjoy it and wish I’d could avoid these feelings altogether, but they present themselves for a reason: for me to face them and to learn and grow from them.

Happy Monday, All!

Hike: Wait List for Mt. Whitney

2010-08-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

I'm on the waiting list to climb Mt. Whitney in August. It's all booked for the month. I'm determined to reach the summit! This will be the only non-solo climb that I do. Lucky partner: my brother!

Hike: 1 Down, 2 More to Go

2010-07-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

I originally wanted to hike the "three saints" of Southern CA in order of ascending height, but reading about the trails for the two remaining peaks made me rethink my plans.

San Gorgonio is the tallest peak, sitting at 11503 ft high. The only realistic day hike trail I can take is the Vivian Creek Trail (15 miles rt) which happens to be the steepest route to the summit. It requires a permit to climb and I requested a permit for August 7.

Request for permit: rejected.

Alternative date and permit request round 2: approved for August 21

Mt. San Jacinto sounds the most daunting. I wanted to do the "Cactus to Clouds" hike which is 11 miles up to the tram station, 6 miles to the summit from the tram station and 6 more miles to return to the tram station and a ride 11 miles down before getting back to the car via tram. It's a feasible day hike provided I start at 3am!

However, when I called the ranger station, they strongly discouraged me from taking this route. The state and national forest service does not maintain or endorse this trail. Evidently there are parts where I have to climb over boulders and 90% of all rescue missions result from people having trouble on this trail. Granted, I don't know how many rescues there are per year vs. how many people attempt this hike per year, but I got the point: it's a risk. Probably even more so since I am doing all of these hikes solo.

Summer is the worst time to attempt the Cactus to Clouds hike. Average temperature on the trail up to the tram station is at least 115 degrees F. Yikes. It's about 80 degrees up at the summit, so overall, hot.

I will do this Cactus to Clouds hike anyway. However, I will wait until October to take on the adventure. In the meantime, to keep with my goal of climbing to the summit of all three of the highest peaks in Southern California, I will hike the route that is endorsed by the rangers: take the tram up and hike 12 miles rt. This is the most popular way to do it and I guess I will have a preview of what is to come in October.

With this new plan, I am going to climb San Jacinto before San Gorgonio. Guess my original order for hiking the peaks is back in business.

San Jacinto is this weekend, August 7. Pictures and results to come.

Summary: On track to conquer all three of the highest peaks in Southern California before my 26th birthday!

Hike: Mt. Baldy/San Antonio

2010-07-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

July 28, 2010--I didn't quite wake up early enough to see the sunrise as I started my hike, but I did manage somewhat of an early start to beat the heat, arriving at the Angeles National Forest a little before 8am.

I had no idea what to expect, especially since this was my first solo hike. Originally, I was going to carry my backpack and inside of it: a flashlight, a first-aid emergency kit, 3 bottles of water, a granola bar, compass, map and rosary (hey, you never know!). I was going to wear shorts, a sleeveless workout top and my retired running shoes. But nervousness started to set in the night before my hike, pushing me to rethink what I had originally packed. I scrambled to find extra bottles of water (total: 1 gallon), extra food and more clothing just in case the worst happened. Instead of wearing shorts and my tank top, I decided to wear my spandex pants and layer my tops (tank top and long sleeve shirt). I also had a change of heart with my footwear and decided to gear up in a pair of Columbia trail shoes that I bought on a whim during my second year in Ithaca. My spare running shoes ended up getting tossed into my ever-growing backpack that was now definitely about 7-10lbs.

I had butterflies in my stomach up until I started to walk the trail. I was alone in the middle of a work week, trying to hike up a mountain by myself for the first time. My goal was to complete a 11.25 mile loop for my hike, climbing up Ski Hut Trail and down Devil's Backbone, but I ended up missing the trail start for Ski Hut. Instead, I took the longer 13.6 route going through Baldy Notch and Devil's Backbone. The winding hike up to San Antonio Falls and up Baldy Notch was easy. I made it to the Ski Lodge in a little over an hour.

Devil's Backbone was another story. It was a narrow path on top of a peak with sharp drops on either side. According to my little trail guide, if formidable winds were present, it was highly recommended NOT to continue the hike. While no strong gusts were present, there was quite a breeze at ~8600 ft that made me worry. And, for someone like me, who is deathly afraid of heights, this was definitely a mental challenge. I don't know how I did it, but I made it. My trail guide said to "enjoy amazing views of the watersheds to both the north and south" but all I could do during this portion of my hike was focus on the path and keep walking!

I continued for a couple more miles around Mt. Harwood and I saw the last 0.6 miles (700 ft elevation gain) to the top.

This last "little" part was probably the hardest. My excellent time went down the drain. I started this climb at 1 hr and 59 minutes and ended up at the top at 2 hours, 22 minutes and 27 seconds. Alas, I made it. I ended up walking faster and running here and there on my way back down (same route).

Final time: 4 hours 12 minutes, which included the 6-7 minutes I spent at the top looking around.

I figured I'd be tired or exhausted after this hike, but surprisingly, I had a lot of energy and was feeling stupendous! So, on my way home, I decided to go into work instead. Luckily, I had a spare pair of work clothes in my car and just went straight into the office after a quick stop at the bathroom to wash my face and hands.

one day later: Still not sore; I was actually able to run 6 miles this evening with no problem! Ate like a famished person all day, but I feel great otherwise! :)

Hike: My First Challenge

2010-07-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

On my search for a suitable "first" mountain to climb, I stumbled upon Mt. Baldy (aka Mt. San Antonio) in the Angeles National Forest. At 10,068 feet, it is the highest summit in the San Gabriel Mountains and serves as a boundary between LA and San Bernardino County. It is also the highest point in Los Angeles County. Given that one of my beliefs in life is to "go above and beyond what is expected," I think think that this mountain is a perfect choice for my inaugural hike.

I plan to do the full loop from Manker's Flat up to Ski Lifts then to Summit and back down via Ski Hut trail. Overall, I can expect at least a 900ft gain in elevation for each mile that I walk. My goal is to keep to a 12-15 minute mile throughout the entire 13.6 mile hike.

Provided that I survive, I will post my adventure synopsis on Saturday evening. Also, I will let you know what my decision will be for this amazing, yet suicidal race: http://www.run2top.com/index.lasso

Thinking: Something to Pass the Time

2010-07-19T23:14:00.000-07:00

In the past week, I unexpectedly gained freedom and a bucketload of time on my hands. I became my first priority again, which I haven't been since 2005. And, even then in 2005, I had only been at the top of my list of concerns for about a year and a half. While this new state of me is refreshing, it is also confusing; on one hand, I feel excited that I now only have to take care of myself (i.e. no more worrying about me AND another person)! BUT, there is also a part of me that feels empty and unfulfilled because I have enjoyed not being by myself.

I am tired and exhausted. I have been admittedly challenged in the past four days, but the challenges are nothing amazing friends and some personal prayers couldn't help me face (thank you).

Feeling like I am alone makes me uncomfortable. Although I am usually most productive when I am alone, I don't enjoy longing for someone to partake in my life's journey. Yet, with some discipline and focus, I know that I can grow a lot and prepare myself to be a better person for what ever comes next in my life.

In the chaotic, unpredictable days between July 14-July 18, I have also realized even more that I need to learn how to be selfish and that it is ok to do that. With some time to collect my thoughts, I've arrived at the conclusion that I need to find happiness again.

Structure and schedule tend to help me find peace with myself. Over the years, I've discovered that my happiness stems from knowing that I am am dedicating a portion of time towards personal progress every day. As long as I:

Pray every morning when I wake up and before I go to bed,
Move and challenge my body at least an hour a day,
Eat reasonably healthy,
Go outside for at least 15 minutes,
Study/review academic materials so I don't forget things,
Journal my reflections of the past week or days
and stay current on financial happenings and world headlines,

then I know that regardless of the day I am having, I will go to bed each night satisfied and happy. So simple. Life is much simpler when you start realizing all the simple things that bring you happiness.

Adding to this list, I have decided to pick up a new hobby that will allow me to reflect on my life (it's been a while), learn from my past, and reach for new goals that can only make me closer to being the type of a person that I want to become.

For me, the best way to live is to live minimally. When I don’t have the urge to need, the desire to want, and the covetousness for objects displaying wealth...then I start to become free. Freedom is not a given, it is a conscious choice. I know I am often times guilty of desiring nice, shiny, expensive things. I mean, who doesn't find it hard to not get caught up in wanting a personal Burberry collection?! ;)

It’s difficult to not be tempted when you exist in a world where everyone seems so drawn to the dark energy of pride, ego, insecurity – it is rare when you meet people who don’t live ‘in the flesh’ but instead, they live ‘in the spirit’. Living in the spirit means true freedom. When you are able to not judge those regardless of physical beauty or belongings, when you are able to discipline earthly desires for objects satisfying the ego... when you are able to be happy when all is sad, be positive when all is negative, be free when all is imprisoned...then you are housing a powerful and eternal spirit.

I came back to my spirit today after feeling uneasy about not being myself these past four days. I silenced a mind that was loud with insecurity, sadness and stress.

I took action.

Quite simply, I realized that I don’t need more reasons to feel sad, upset and unappreciated; I need more freedom to be me. Being who you are is what brings real happiness.

Each day will be a battle to find that solace, and as I was finishing my 4 mile run outside this afternoon, I smiled upon realizing how today was the first day in my life that I felt--and truly believed-- I was beautiful, and heaven forbid, hot! Whether it was me wearing that brown dress to work this morning--I have not been able to fit the dress since I bought it two years ago-- or me wearing my new running shoes, $2.99 workout shirt and $7 dollar shorts this afternoon, I felt beautiful. It was a feeling that convinced me that I was starting to regain my abilities to focus on just making me(and only me)happy. No compromises.

In efforts to make progress in my life from this day forward, I have decided to pick up hiking up mountains as my new hobby. I am hoping that it will help me continue along productively as I begin the next phase of my life. It requires nothing beyond a good pair of shoes, some water and a willing person. My immediate goal is to, at the very least, hike a hill/mountain higher than 3000 ft in elevation every two weeks, alternating with an challenging trail run during the week that I am not climbing up a steep incline. My over-arching goal is to be prepared for a trip to Tanzania for a seven day hiking adventure that I might end up booking since I have had to abandon my travel plans to Morocco and India this year due to the recent, unexpected changes in my life.

I am mostly excited, but I admit that nestled between the moments of excitement, I still have those feelings of sadness. Hopefully as times passes, these feelings of loneliness will become less and less frequent.

Wish me luck and keep checking back for progress.